


You Belong With Me

by milksichengtea



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Fluff, Football, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun &; Dong Si Cheng | WinWin Are Best Friends, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun is Whipped, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, Secret Crush, Slow Burn, Song: You Belong With Me (Taylor Swift), Sweet Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25675933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milksichengtea/pseuds/milksichengtea
Summary: Jaehyun’s in love with Lucas Wong, the most popular guy in school. The only problem is, he’s not completely sure Lucas even knows he exists.
Relationships: Best friends:, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Suh Youngho | Johnny/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Comments: 11
Kudos: 99
Collections: LucasFicFest





	1. Seeding

**Author's Note:**

> Hi prompter, I hope I did your wonderful prompt justice >.< What I was intending to be a one-shot turned into a three-shot, 20,000+ word monster T.T Jaehyun x Lucas isn't a popular couple, but they're two members that I really like, and I could envision the fic coming together as soon as I read your prompt. I tried to reference as much T. Swift songs throughout as I thematically could! When I was writing this fic, my goal was to write a quintessential high school RomCom, and I hope you all have as much fun reading it as I had writing it.
> 
> Please note that some of the characters in this fic have a bit of a villainous characterization - this is purely a work of fiction and does not reflect my feelings for these individuals in real life (I love them all irl)! And please do not send hate to any of the idols mentioned in this fic! <33333

“Honey, you’re going to be late!”

“I’m coming, mom!” Jaehyun yells in response, frantically stuffing some random school supplies into his backpack. He’d almost missed his alarm - he probably shouldn’t have stayed up so late last night playing League of Legends with Sicheng. First day of senior year and he was already running late. _Fan-fucking-tastic._

He puts on his glasses and takes a quick look in the mirror, ruffling his bangs in an unsuccessful attempt at getting rid of his bed head. He takes a deep breath. Why was he feeling so nervous? One more year of high school, and he’d be out of this hellhole. “You got this Jaehyun,” he says to himself, patting his cheeks with his hands. He takes one final look in the mirror. Why did he look so dopey today?

“Sweetie? We have to go,” his mom calls out again from downstairs.

Jaehyun doesn’t respond back this time, instead using his last reserves of energy to run down the stairs as fast as his legs could take him. 

His mom looks at him a little worriedly. “I made you lunch,” she hands him a wrapped sandwich. “And breakfast, but I think you’ll have to bring it with you at this point.”

“Thanks mom,” Jaehyun grins, throwing the sandwich haphazardly into his backpack and grabbing the piece of buttered toast off the kitchen counter. “I’m ready,” he says, voice muffled from the toast he’s holding between his teeth. “I think.” 

“Well, you don’t have much of a choice,” his mom chides. She’s rolling her eyes, but smiling.

He stuffs his feet into an old pair of sneakers and they step outside, the morning sunlight already glaring into his eyes. “I’m tired already.”

His mom shakes her head, laughing. She takes a moment to lock the door before stepping into the car. “I’m going to be over at the diner a little longer than usual today,” she says, starting the engine. “Can you walk home after school?” 

“Yeah mom, no problem.”

They drive in silence, with the exception of Jaehyun’s unapologetic munching sounds from gobbling down his toast. He puts on his headphones and as if mocking him, Taylor Swift’s _“The Outside”_ plays on his shuffle. It was almost funny. He relishes the lyrics of the song, feeling like the awkward new kid in middle school again.

_So how can I ever try to be better?_

_Nobody ever lets me in_

_And I can still see you; this ain't the best view_

_On the outside, lookin' in_

_I've been a lot of lonely places_

_I've never been on the outside_

It was embarrassing to admit, but he used to be a huge Swiftie. Her newer stuff wasn’t really his style anymore, but he still listened to her earlier music religiously, especially from her first few albums. They were released around the time he’d first moved to America from South Korea, and he used to listen to them over and over again to help him learn English. She’d even inspired him to sing and teach himself the guitar.

For a few moments, his nerves seemed to disappear as he looked out the window and his mind began to drift. But his moment of respite was gone all too soon, dissipating as Neo Tech High appeared in the horizon. A fresh new wave of anxiety crashed back into him like a flood. 

Hordes of cars and students surrounded the building like ants around an ant hill, parents dropping off their kids, students catching up with each other and talking and laughing, some running up to give each other hugs or fist bumps. Jaehyun could feel butterflies in his stomach. The thought of having to resume social interaction on such a large scale was enough to make him feel nauseous. 

There were still a few minutes before the bell. At least he’d made it on time. 

His mom pulls up to one of the drop-off zones, and he takes off his headphones, leaving them hanging around his neck. 

“I hope you have a nice first day of school sweetie,” she looks over at him, grinning. “If you want, come by the diner before heading home. I can get you something to eat.”

“Alright, thanks mom,” Jaehyun says, unbuckling his seatbelt. 

“Love you,” she calls out as he gets out of the car. 

Jaehyun grabs the straps of his backpack resolutely with both hands. “Love you,” he replies, smiling weakly. He waves as his mom drives off, and that all too familiar feeling of dread starts to sink in. 

Was high school ever meant to be fun?

~

The answer to that question, Jaehyun thinks, is a resounding _no._

Jaehyun robotically keys in his lock code and drops off a few of his heavy textbooks in his locker. He grabs the sandwich his mom had made for him, and inspects it a little more - it’s egg salad, his favourite. At least lunchtime was somewhat enjoyable. He feels his phone vibrating in his pocket.

**Sicheng <333\. 12.03pm.**

_Meet in the caf in 5? :-)_

**Jaehyun. 12.03pm.**

_Sure_

Sicheng’s already sitting at their usual lunch table and waving in his direction when Jaehyun arrives at the cafeteria. He shimmies his way through the crowd, the voices from a hundred simultaneous conversations creating a buzz of white noise in the room - a sound he’s fortunately used to by now after working at the diner over the summer.

He performs their signature handshake before sitting down across from his best friend. 

“Jae,” Sicheng’s smiling ear to ear. “Let’s compare timetables,” he says, already reaching for Jaehyun’s phone to compare (they both made a habit of making their class timetable their phone’s lock screen background). He places their phones side by side on the table, his eyes analyzing the blocks of colour and course codes. 

“Cool, we have fourth period together,” Jaehyun points out. “English kind of sucks though.”

“Yeah, but we get to sit next to each other.” Sicheng raises his eyebrows up and down humorously. 

“I don’t know if that’s really a good thing,” he teases. 

“Shut up,” Sicheng sticks out his tongue playfully, kicking Jaehyun underneath the table. “You love me and you know it.”

Jaehyun laughs. “I’m joking,” he takes a bite of his sandwich. He takes a moment to chew and swallow. “I honestly couldn’t survive it without you. I mean it.”

Sicheng sticks out his tongue cutely. “So, tell me about your day so far.”

Jaehyun recounts his hectic morning to him, how he’d rushed out of the house and was almost late. First period he had calculus, which was a pain, but he was good at math, so it wasn’t really a big deal. And then he had computer science, which wasn’t too bad either. Both were subjects he liked and had a natural talent for (he didn’t like to brag about it, but he’d always been the guy that studied the night before a test and still aced it no matter what… he and Sicheng both). 

“Oh my god,” Sicheng looks around him cautiously, “I almost forgot. Did you hear that rumour about Jennie?” He lowers his voice. “Apparently, last night she sent out a list of boys to all the girls in school, announcing who she wants each girl to go to prom with and who’s off-limits. I can’t believe she’s already thinking about that.” 

Of course. _Jennie Kim._ Probably the most popular girl at Neo Tech and self-proclaimed Asian Baby Girl, with a manicure that could poke your eyes out. Jaehyun shifts awkwardly in his seat. “I mean, I’m not really thinking about prom right now. It’s literally just the first day of senior year.” 

There wasn’t really a doubt in anyone’s mind what Jennie’s intentions were. Before last summer, there’d been tryouts for all the sports teams for the upcoming school year and like everyone expected, Lucas Wong landed a position as quarterback for the football team while Jennie became captain of the cheerleading squad. It was almost cringeworthy how this cliché was playing itself out. 

_Lucas Wong_ \- six feet of muscle and classic Asian American fuckboy extraordinaire. Athletic, charming, and with a handsome face to top it all off. He also happened to be Jaehyun’s nextdoor neighbour. But he’s not entirely sure that Lucas even knows he exists. 

Lucas and Jennie ran in similar social circles, and it seemed like all the signs were pointing to them being this year’s prom king and queen. The only problem was, he was the crush of every other girl in school… so it wasn’t surprising that Jennie would try to assert her dominance as early as she could. Then again, Jaehyun’s not so sure the other girls would try to challenge her for him anyway. 

“Are you thinking of asking anyone out though?” Sicheng asks him suddenly, poking around his food. “Like, not that I care what other people think or anything. I just… don’t want to crush on the same girl as my best friend.”

Jaehyun gives a hollow laugh, perhaps sounding a little more awkward than he’d intended it to. “Nah, I…” he fiddles his thumbs, “I don’t really have anyone in mind. I mean, you’re my best friend. We don’t keep any secrets between us right?” He’s not entirely sure why (or maybe he is), but he feels something uncomfortable from within him tug at his chest.

Sicheng smiles warmly. “Right,” he says.

“So uh, anyway,” Jaehyun says, wanting to change the subject, “let’s talk about how you completely screwed us over in league last night.” 

“Hey, that wasn’t my fault!” Sicheng protests, laughing. 

They devolve into a conversation about video games and set a time to play PUBG after school. _Who needs girls_ , Jaehyun thinks. He had his mom, his video games, and his best friend. What else did a guy need? Okay, well… maybe his old T. Swift albums, too. That was all he needed to survive. 

A voice from within threatens to challenge that thought, but he quickly pushes the whole thing out of his mind before it could have a chance to surface.

After a few more minutes of banter with Sicheng, the bell rings, marking the end of lunch period. Jaehyun’s not so sure if it’s the bell he feels ringing in his chest, or something else.

~

After what felt like an eternity, the final bell of the day rings, reverberating through the walls of the classroom at ear-splitting volume. Jaehyun walks out of the class with Sicheng, and they make their way to his locker. Sicheng didn’t really use his locker, so they would usually just meet at Jaehyun’s at the end of the day.

“Man, today felt like _forever_ ,” Sicheng whines, leaning against the wall dramatically. He slides onto the floor, clutching at his chest like an actor in some cheesy K-drama. 

Jaehyun laughs. “Yeah, you’re telling me.” He takes some of his books out of his locker to do the homework assigned for tonight. “By the way, I’m gonna meet my mom at the diner today, so you leave first. I don’t wanna hold you back.”

“Aw, okay,” Sicheng says, getting back up from the ground. “I’ll get going then.”

They usually walked home together if both their parents couldn’t pick them up, but his mom’s diner was in the opposite direction of their neighborhood. Sometimes Jaehyun would invite Sicheng over to the diner with him, but he’d already been so many times, and even though his mom was more than happy to see them around and get them food, he didn’t want to burden her with it all the time and Sicheng was also considerate enough not to ask unless invited. 

“See you tonight on PUBG?”

“Yeah. I’ll message you,” Sicheng responds.

“Alright,” Jaehyun smiles. “See ya.”

Sicheng smiles back and they perform their signature handshake before he turns to leave. 

Jaehyun organizes his locker a bit more and shuts it. He takes a moment to check his phone. A few texts that he’d missed from his mom fill the screen. He double-checks that his locker is shut and starts making his way down the hall, reading the messages as he goes. 

**Mom 엄마. 2.45pm.**

_Hi sweetie, if you can, can you pick up some milk from the market on your way here?_

_We’re running a little low in the restaurant_

_If not, that’s fine_

**Jaehyun. 2.57pm.**

_No problem mom_

_I’ll bring some_

He’s looking down, typing another message asking if she wanted skim or whole milk when he feels someone’s hands on his shoulders and he’s suddenly being forcefully shoved backward. The unexpectedness of it makes him lose his balance and the next thing he knows, he’s lying flat on the floor and his glasses are knocked off his face. A dull ache starts to emerge in his forehead. _What the hell…?_

“Out of the way, _nerd_ ,” he hears someone call out from above. A chorus of laughter erupts around him, a mixture of male and female voices. Jaehyun panics. Not because of the laughter (he really didn’t give a shit about that), but because he was pretty near-sighted, and was almost blind without his glasses. He reaches out around him with his hands. 

“My… my glasses,” he says, asking for help. “Can someone get them for me?”

“Yuta, that really wasn’t necessary,” another voice says. _Yuta? One of the guys on the football team?_ This other voice was deeper and had more bass to it. Sounded familiar, even. “Here,” the deeper voice said again. “Your glasses.” 

Jaehyun could make out a tanned skin figure through his blurry vision. He feels something poke at his hands. _His glasses._ Squinting, he takes them and puts them back on his face. He blinks a few times and opens his eyes. When his vision returns, he feels his heart stop. Standing in front of him, like a cruel stroke of fate, was Lucas Wong and his crew. Behind him were Johnny and Yuta (the one who had presumably knocked him over), who were also members of the football team, and Jennie and a few of her friends. Jennie was snickering with her phone pointed at him. _Wait, was she…recording him?_

“Lucas, what are you standing around for? Dude, let’s go,” Johnny says as he taps Lucas’s shoulder, walking a little ahead impatiently. 

Jaehyun’s still on the floor, stunned. He wants to stand up and apologize and say thanks, like any normal person would and move on with his life, but he can’t. His body suddenly feels heavy, and he feels something caught in the back of his throat.

Lucas ignores Johnny and offers Jaehyun an outstretched hand instead. “Hey,” he says, bending over a little. “Sorry about that. Yuta doesn’t really like it when people get in our way.”

Jaehyun feels his cheeks and ears flush. He hopes nobody would notice. After a few seconds of staring like an idiot, he takes Lucas’s hand, and the quarterback effortlessly helps pull him back up to his feet. Jaehyun wasn’t a short guy - but standing next to Lucas (and Johnny, for that matter), he felt like he was below average. 

There’s a pregnant pause in the air, as if they’re expecting Jaehyun to say something. “Um, yeah. I… I’m sorry about that,” Jaehyun manages to squeeze out in Yuta’s direction. “I should’ve watched where I was going.”

“No kidding,” Yuta replies under his breath. “Know your place.”

“Hey,” Lucas cuts in, glaring at his friend. “That’s enough.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Yuta scoffs. Clearly unbothered, he and Johnny continue to make their way down the hall, tossing a football back and forth between them over the heads of other students along the way.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Lucas says quietly to Jaehyun, smiling weakly. “See you around.” He shimmies into a light jog to catch up to Johnny and Yuta, throwing his arms around their shoulders. 

Jennie and her friends Irene and Yuqi were still there, having watched the whole thing go down. They finally walk off and continue to giggle amongst themselves, following the football players down to the other end of the hall. Jennie in particular gives Jaehyun a lingering look of pity. “Loser,” he hears her whisper to Irene. Yuqi turns around and spares Jaehyun an apologetic glance, as if saying _I’m sorry._ She turns back around and follows the other girls out.

Jaehyun can feel tears threaten to form in his eyes. 

~

“Dude, that really wasn’t cool what you did to that kid earlier.”

Yuta rolls his eyes. “Really? Again with this shit?” He shakes his head. “This is the third or fourth time you’re bringing it up in the span of thirty minutes,” the fullback retorts. “When did you care so much about nerds.”

Lucas crosses his arms. “I always cared. I’m not an asshole like you,” 

“He was in our way so I got him out of it. Maybe I pushed him a little too hard, but he’ll survive. Not my fault he was too busy texting his mommy or some shit.”

He shoves Yuta in the arm, maybe a little harder than he intended. “It really wasn’t cool.”

“Don’t touch me,” Yuta raises his voice, pointing a finger at Lucas’s chest. 

“What are you gonna do about it?”

“Hey, hey, guys,” Johnny raises his voice, getting between them. He puts a hand on Yuta’s shoulder. “Cut it out, both of you. We literally have practice in ten minutes and we don’t need this negative energy fucking it up.”

“Fine,” Yuta throws Johnny’s hand off of him and gets up from the bleachers. “Think what you want.” He jogs off toward the field to join some of their other teammates doing warm-up drills.

Johnny takes a seat next to Lucas. He sighs and runs a hand through his long hair. “Look dude,” he says in a smaller voice. “I’m not trying to be an ass either. But it happened, and it’s over. The nerd wasn’t watching where he was going and you even helped him up. Why are you so caught up about it?” He asks. “It’s not like you,” he says quietly.

They share a small moment of silence, both looking out at the field. “Stop calling him that,” Lucas turns to make eye contact with Johnny. 

“Calling him what?”

“Nerd. He has a name.”

“Yeah? Well, what is it then?”

Lucas bites his lower lip. “I… I don’t know. But he’s my neighbour. I’m not trying to have us be the mean jocks in school or any of that shit,” he says with his hands exaggeratedly. “I’m not a bully, Johnny.”

Johnny laughs. “Yeah okay, Zac Efron. Who do you think you are? This isn’t fucking High School Musical. We _are_ the jocks and he’s the nerd. That’s just the way things are.”

Lucas doesn’t respond, bent over with his elbows on his knees, hands grasped loosely together. He looks away.

Johnny sighs again. “Come on. First practice of the year. We need our quarterback.” He finally gets up from his seat and gives Lucas a pat on the back before running up to the part of the field where Yuta and the rest of the guys are playing.

Maybe the guys were right. Why was he so bothered by this? Yuta wasn’t a bully, but he _has_ always been blunt and hotheaded, and stuff like this wasn’t new for them. That’s not to say that he’d always approved of everything Yuta had done in the past - Lucas never liked it when they were too mean to the other kids in school, and had always expressed that to the other guys. He just... doesn’t remember it ever being this hard to get over. And they’d never actually had a _fight_ about it. This time, for whatever reason, felt different. It was his neighbour they’d knocked over, and he was clearly hurt - not just physically. Jennie didn’t have to snapchat that shit either. He’d have to talk to her about that too.

And then it hit him. The kid was his _neighbour._ He could just go over to his house later.

“Wong!” He hears a whistle and his coach call over from the field. “Stop dilly dallying and get your butt over here. Practice is starting now!”

Shit. Lucas throws on his helmet and runs over. 

Johnny throws him the ball from afar and he catches it easily without breaking pace. _First practice of the year,_ he hears Johnny say again in his mind. He needed to show his coach and his team that he was deserving of quarterback. And he knew he was. Johnny and Yuta were good, but he was still better by a long shot. But although he was taller, faster, stronger… that didn’t matter if his head wasn’t in the game. Football wasn’t just a contact sport. He needed to focus.

He pushes away any more thoughts of the kid. He’d see him later tonight.

~

Jaehyun pushes around the food on his plate. 

He was hungry, but he didn’t really have an appetite anymore. 

It wasn’t that the food was unappealing - even though they were leftovers, it was good food. _Jeong’s Diner_ even had great ratings online, and they had a pretty big group of regulars that knew his mom by name. Some even knew him by name, and had watched him grow up. 

They’d immigrated to Connecticut from Seoul when he was ten years old. At first, his mom had struggled to make ends meet. Jaehyun didn’t really remember much in those early years, except meeting Sicheng on his first day of middle school. Like him, Sicheng was from a newly immigrant family, having just moved from Wenzhou, China. In the beginning, they couldn’t communicate at all - but that was exactly what brought them together. 

After a few years of struggling through several different jobs, his mom finally saved up enough money to make her move. It was a huge risk and a gamble, putting a hefty down payment on a second property and taking out loans from the bank to renovate the old building they’d purchased into an actual restaurant. But she never gave up on her dream, no matter how hard it became, and it all paid off in the end - shortly after opening, _Jeong’s Diner_ made a name for itself with their edgy Korean-American fusion food, and became a staple in their part of town. His mom was eventually able to hire full-time staff, and today, she took on the role of a manager. Still, she helped out in the kitchen whenever she could. She was down to earth like that. 

He was an only child, and he’d never known his father. For as long as he could remember, the only person he’d had in his life was his mom. She was his rock. Her and Sicheng. 

“Is everything okay sweetie?” His mom walks over from the kitchen, putting an arm around him. She had a rag thrown over her shoulder and smelled a little like hot oil. “You usually love kimchi fries.”

“Yeah, I… everything’s fine mom.”

She takes a seat across from him. “So,” she smiles. “I think I have a minute to talk. How was your first day of school?” 

Jaehyun doesn’t look up from his plate of fries. “It was alright I guess.” He didn’t want to unpack everything in front of her right now, in the middle of the busy diner, but he couldn’t help the way his voice sounded a little broken. 

There was a moment of silence between them, and all Jaehyun could hear was the bustle of the diner in the background. 

“Jae?” His mom probes gently in a quiet voice, just barely audible above the buzz. “You know you can tell me anything that’s bothering you right?” She reaches out and takes his hand. 

He nods, eyes still glued to the fries. “Yeah.” 

She purses her lips. “Okay. I don’t want to leave you, but Wendy’s off today, and it’s back to school time so we’re a little busier than usual,” she says softly. “I’m going back to the kitchen now. If you want, you can tell me about it tonight.”

“Thanks mom.”

She kisses him on the forehead and steps away. Jaehyun still hasn’t taken a bite.

~

Jaehyun plops down on his bed. It’s pathetic how embarrassed he feels about today. If it was anyone else in school that had bumped into him like that, he probably wouldn’t even care. But the fact that it was the popular kids in school that ran him over made it sting a little more than it should have. He’d ended up texting Sicheng some excuse after getting home, saying he had to stay behind at the diner to help close. He always liked playing video games with Sicheng, but he wasn’t in the mood. His mom hadn’t pressed the topic when they drove home, either - she knew that he’d need space, and that he’d go to her when he was ready.

He grabs his headphones from his bag and adjusts them clumsily over his ears. He scrolls through his music library to Taylor Swift’s first album. He decides to play “Invisible” and closes his eyes.

_And I just wanna show you_

_She don't even know you_

_She's never gonna love you like I want to_

_And you just see right through me but if you only knew me_

_We could be a beautiful, miracle, unbelievable_

_Instead of just invisible_

Jaehyun thinks back to his time in middle school, how some of the kids had bullied him for the way he spoke English. He probably wouldn’t have survived without Sicheng back then. His eyes start to well up, and he feels a tear roll down his cheek. He fucking hates crying.

He picks up his phone. He could call Sicheng right now, tell him what happened. But after a minute of deliberating, he decides against it. He’d tell him tomorrow. He needed some time to be alone first. 

The doorbell rings, right as the song finishes. _Sicheng?_ He takes off his headphones and peers out of his window. He doesn’t see a car pulled up to the driveway, so whoever it was must have walked over. The door opens, and he can hear his mom’s voice from downstairs, and another deeper voice that didn’t really sound like Sicheng’s. 

“Jae?” His mom calls out. “Someone’s here to see you.”

To see him? It had to be Sicheng, then. He gets up and takes a quick look in the mirror. He runs a hand over his face, lifting his glasses a little so he could wipe away the tears from his eyes. That was one good thing about wearing glasses - you could somewhat hide behind them when you cried. He ruffles his hair. 

“Coming,” he replies. 

He stumbles downstairs and sees his mom by the door with… 

“Your friend from school is here, sweetie.”

Jaehyun almost trips over his own feet. It was Lucas Wong. _Lucas Wong_ was at his doorstep. “Hey,” the quarterback says a little awkwardly, in his deep baritone. He had his hands in his pockets, head almost clearing the top of the door.

His mom smiles. Then something clicks in her eyes. “Hey now, don’t you live next door? You’re Ms. Wong’s son, right?” She asks, her voice becoming brighter. “I knew she had a son, but I don’t think we’ve ever been formally introduced,” she pats him in the arm, sizing him up, clearly a little taken aback by his height. “You should come over more often! I haven’t seen your mother in a while, either. Would you like to step in for a bit? I can get something for you boys to eat if you’d like.”

Lucas chuckles, rocking back and forth on his heels, a little bashful. Jaehyun’s never seen this side of him before. “Thanks Ms. Jeong, but I’m fine,” he says. “I just wanted to speak with uh, with...” he gestures with his hands over to Jaehyun.

“With… me,” Jaehyun finishes his sentence. 

Lucas shoots Jaehyun a quick look and breaks into a toothy grin. “Yeah,” he says. “Do you have a minute to talk outside?”

“Um, yeah. Sure.” _What did he want with him now?_

For a brief second, his mom has an ambiguous look on her face, but it quickly disappears. “Alright now,” she says. “But you should visit more often! Tell your parents, too. I haven’t had a chance to speak with them much.”

Lucas nods. “I will,” he says, still smiling brightly. Even though it was his mom he was speaking to, he was surprised Lucas was this polite. “Sorry we haven’t reached out sooner, they’re usually out of town these days and really busy with work, and I’m pretty busy with school and sports and everything.”

“Not a problem,” his mom turns around to look at Jaehyun, still standing awkwardly far away from the door. “I’ll leave you two be then.” She walks past Jaehyun into the kitchen, giving him a soft touch on the shoulder on her way there.

Jaehyun finally urges himself to walk toward the door. He throws on a pair of slippers and follows Lucas out onto the steps, making sure to close the door behind him. 

“So,” Lucas says. He’s wearing some fancy athleisure clothes, which were probably super expensive. They hugged his body in all the right ways, tugging at his broad shoulders, toned chest, and muscular arms. He still has his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet again, probably a habit of his. It was almost unfair how attractive he was without even trying. 

Jaehyun swallows. He doesn’t respond right away and they stand there for a moment in silence, in the moonlight. “So,” he manages to repeat back. He’s staring at the ground, too shy to look at Lucas in the eyes. “Why are you here? Are you here to humiliate me some more?”

“No,” Lucas says immediately, almost impatient. “I… I’m here to apologize. I’m really sorry for what happened earlier today.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Jaehyun responds, “I shouldn’t have been walking and texting.” He adjusts his glasses. “And it was your friend that pushed me over, anyway.”

“I know, but I feel like shit about it. I just want you to know that I told him off, too.”

Jaehyun pauses. “Well, thanks.”

“By the way,” Lucas continues, “This sounds really shitty, but I don’t actually know your name, even though we go to the same school and… even though we’re neighbours.”

Of course he didn’t. _You never asked_ , Jaehyun wants to say. “I’m Jaehyun.”

“Jae… hyun,” Lucas pronounces carefully. “Cool. I’m Lucas.”

It was almost cute how he felt the need to introduce himself too, as if the whole school didn’t already know his name, his height, his weight, and probably his freaking blood type at that. _Yeah, I know,_ Jaehyun wants to say, but holds himself back again. “Well, nice to finally meet you,” he says instead. “We’ve lived next to each other for years, but never had a chance to talk to each other for whatever reason.” 

Lucas laughs, his deep voice ringing in the night air. “Yeah, well, like you heard me say earlier, my parents aren’t home very much anymore. They’re always travelling. I’m not home much either, but I guess that isn’t really much of an excuse since we literally go to the same fucking school.” He kicks a rock with his foot before saying, “you know, I tried to come by earlier, too, but you weren’t here.”

_The_ Lucas Wong… was really thinking about him that much? Jaehyun feels his ears flush red. _Fuck_ , he hated how he couldn’t control that. At least Lucas wouldn’t be able to see him look like an idiot now that it was dark outside. “Yeah, I was at my mom’s diner.”

Something clicks. “Hold up. Does your mom own _Jeong’s Diner_ by any chance?” He could almost see the quarterback connecting the dots in his head.

“Yeah, it’s our family business.”

“Yo,” Lucas says suddenly, his tone of voice becoming more casual, “I fucking love that place. It’s like, one of my favourite joints in town. I mean, I’ve only been there a few times, but like, the food and service have consistently been kickass.”

Jaehyun lights up a little. It always made him proud to hear others raving about his mom’s restaurant. “Thanks.” 

There’s another moment of silence between them. This seemed to be a recurring trend in their conversations. “I guess I should get going now,” Lucas says after the brief pause. “It was nice finally getting the chance to talk to you.”

“Yeah.”

“Cool.”

“I, uh,” Jaehyun says awkwardly, “should probably go back in now, too.”

“Right. Yeah,” Lucas replies, hand reaching to scratch the back of his head. “See you around, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun feels chills shoot up his spine. _Lucas Wong just said his name_. “Yeah,” he tries to say, but his voice fails him and it doesn’t quite come out. “Yeah,” he repeats again, louder this time. “See you at school, I guess.”

They share an awkward smile and Jaehyun runs back into the house before Lucas even walks off. He quickly shuts the door, locking it. He couldn’t believe what just happened. Maybe Lucas wasn’t such a bad guy after all. Maybe he was wrong about him.

“Honey?” His mom walks out from the kitchen. “Is everything okay? What did you boys chat about?”

“Um,” Jaehyun fumbles a little, “we talked about… school. And homework, and stuff.” He didn’t like lying to his mom, and it was probably pretty obvious that he was, but it definitely sounded better than _he came over to apologize for his friend knocking me over like a bowling pin earlier today and laughing about it._

“Well, you should invite him over next time,” she replies calmly, not pressing any further. “It’d be nice to see more of our neighbours.”

“Yeah, okay” he responds. “I’ll be in my room.” 

“Okay, sweetie.”

Jaehyun walks back to his room and shuts the door, letting himself fall face first onto his bed. He stays in that position for a while before turning around, looking up at the ceiling. First day of senior year, and he was off to a great fucking start. He stares at an old model of the solar system he’d made when he was younger, hanging limply from the ceiling over his bed. _You should invite him over_ , his mom’s words echoed in his head. Would Lucas even want to hang out with him though? He slaps himself.

_Stop thinking about him_ , Jaehyun thinks. But it’s no use. The thought of Lucas and his stupid, handsome face came seeping back into his brain, like it always incessantly had, but stronger now. Since freshman year, he’d had a bit of a crush on the football player, but had never admitted it to himself. Or maybe he didn’t even know it was a crush... until now. He’d stalked him on social media before, but never had the guts to add him as a friend on Facebook, or follow him on Instagram. Maybe it was because Lucas didn’t even know his name, or that he existed until today. But maybe that was all his heart needed for his feelings to come to a head.

The moment they’d just shared just now, on his porch, in the cool dusk - the way Lucas had smiled at him. His broad shoulders, his boyish smile. His deep voice. How thick and strong his hand had felt, when he’d helped him up earlier today. And the way he’d had his hands in his pockets when he was talking to his mom, and to him, rocking back and forth like he was… like he was asking someone out on a date, or something. _No,_ Jaehyun shoves the thought away. _He’d never see me like that_ . _Why would he?_

Nobody knew that Jaehyun was gay. He hadn’t even told his mom, or Sicheng, the two people closest to him. Maybe he hadn’t even fully accepted it himself yet. But he always knew it was there, for as long as he could remember. There was always something gnawing at him, from within, wanting to come out. Whenever Sicheng would talk to him about girls, or whenever his mom would bring up the idea of dating, he’d play along, but it was always uncomfortable, like he was _lying_ \- not only to them, but to himself. But what was the point of hiding, of depriving himself of _being himself?_

The T. Swift song he’d been listening to earlier suddenly pops back in his head.

_We could be a beautiful, miracle, unbelievable_

_Instead of just invisible_

Something shifts within him, like gears turning into place. He was tired of being invisible. This year, it would be different. It had to be. This was his last year of high school, and his last chance to follow his heart, whatever the consequences. What if Lucas moved away for college? He’d never have this chance again. It’s now or never. 

He rolls over and grabs his old teddy bear from off the floor (and yes, he still hugged it to sleep every night, and its name was Jeffrey; nobody needed to know that, though). He looks at the teddy bear intently. “I’m going to ask him out,” Jaehyun says quietly under his breath. Jeffrey stares back at him, falling over limply in his hands. “Before this year ends, I’m going to ask _Lucas Wong_ out on a date,” he repeats, whispering. “Or die trying.”

Maybe he was fucking crazy. Maybe he was being a little drama queen.

But it was too late to turn back on his words now. 

A seed had been planted, and he’s going to let it grow.


	2. Sprouting

Lucas slams his hand on the blaring alarm clock that’s obnoxiously shaking on his nightstand. It stops ringing, but falls onto the ground with a loud  _ thud. _ He groans and tosses around in his sheets until he’s flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He stays there, his mind blank, for another minute. After his brain starts to become somewhat functional, he finally musters the energy to sit up, and runs a hand over his face. He grabs his phone.  _ 7:32am. Partly-cloudy.  _

In his mind, he almost hears his mom’s voice call him downstairs for breakfast, but he doesn’t let himself fall for it this time. It was just his imagination - those days were long gone. 

He walks like a zombie to the washroom and grabs the lonely toothbrush lying on the counter to brush his teeth. It’s been several years now that his parents were promoted and started travelling  _ even more _ for work. They had always been distant and had always prioritized making money over spending time with him, but after they moved up in the company, virtually all communication had stopped. When he was a child, he’d constantly moved from city to city, following his parents wherever they went, hopping from school to school. Making friends, then losing them. Acclimatizing to his neighborhood, then uprooting. Eventually, the whole concept of “home” lost meaning. He spits a mouthful of toothpaste out into the sink and takes a look in the mirror, at his sunken eyes.

He was too young to break the cycle then.

When they’d moved to Connecticut, Lucas was a freshman in high school. That year at Neo Tech, he’d made great friends, became the youngest student in the history of the school to get onto the football team, and made memories that he didn’t want to forget. Not anymore. That year, he’d finally put his foot down.

His parents weren’t happy with him, but he didn’t want to run anymore.  _ Why couldn’t they see that? Did they ever consider how he had felt?  _ Eventually, they decided to leave him the house and moved on without him. They had enough money to not worry about selling what they were leaving behind. 

Now, they were home just a few times a year, if at all, and the only reminder of their existence was a deposit of money into his bank account every month. Lucas sighs and throws on a white polo shirt and a pair of light washed jeans. Looking in the mirror, he pops the collar up, but then folds it back down.

_ You should visit more often! Tell your parents, too. I haven’t had a chance to speak with them much.  _ He can still hear the words his neighbour’s mom had said to him last night. 

_ I will, _ he’d replied. That was a lie. He pushes the thought out of his head, but it comes crawling back. That kid… no,  _ Jaehyun...  _ was lucky to have a loving mom like that, that cared about him. And then there was the issue of Jaehyun himself, who was very clearly a wallflower at school, but unlike Lucas, seemed to be content with his life and knew where it was going. Lucas shakes his head, trying to make sense of the uneasiness ruminating in his chest. Why was he so caught up about yesterday? Was he really acting so out of character that Johnny and Yuta had to check him about it before practice? He shakes his head. This was too much thinking for the second morning of senior year. 

He walks downstairs, grabbing the lunch he’d prepped yesterday from out of the fridge and throws it into his backpack. There was something about Jaehyun that made him feel weird, and he didn’t know why. He needed to figure out what it was.

He checks his phone again.  _ 7:51am. _

It could wait.

Snatching his dangling keys from off a coat hook, he struts out onto the driveway and hops into his silver-blue BMW. As he settles down in the driver’s seat, he relishes the sound of fabric sliding across the sleek, black leather seat. It still smelled like  _ new car _ . He runs his hands over the steering wheel before revving up the engine. He’d smoked weed and made out with many girls in this car before, and things had gotten messy on occasion - but he kept his car in such mint condition that no one could ever tell. He pulls out onto the road and turns on the radio, loud enough to drown out his thoughts. 

~

“So, late night yesterday?” 

“Huh?” Jaehyun looks up from his food. The morning had been a blur, and it was already lunchtime. He doesn’t even remember how he got here, or how he even got this far through the day with the way his brain was just a swirling mess of emotions. He shifts the kimchi fried rice around its container mindlessly with his chopsticks. 

“Last night,” Sicheng repeats, raising his eyebrows. “You stayed back at the diner to help close, right? Was it really busy or something?”

“Oh, right,” Jaehyun snaps out of his trance, remembering that he hadn’t told Sicheng anything that had happened yesterday. “Yeah, I… Wendy was off yesterday, so I had to help my mom close. First day of school, you know how it is, the diner’s getting busier.” He didn’t like lying to his best friend, but he didn’t feel ready to tell him everything right now, either. 

“Don’t worry, I get it,” Sicheng says. He smiles faintly, before taking a bite of his noodles. “Are you alright? You look a little down.”

Jaehyun realizes his eyes are downcast again. He looks up to meet Sicheng’s eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just…kinda tired.”

“Okay,” Sicheng replies, looking a little worried, but not pressing further. 

There’s a moment of silence as they continue to eat their lunch. The silence isn’t awkward or anything (things are never awkward with Sicheng, even moments like this), but Jaehyun feels guilty for not telling him more when he knows he should. But where would he even start?  _ Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, after you left yesterday, the football team ran over me, Lucas Wong showed up at my door, and I decided to ask him out before the end of the year after I lied to you about having to stay late at the diner. Oh yeah, and I’m gay. Surprise! _

“So…” Sicheng breaks the quiet, “does that mean we can play PUBG tonight?” A smirk emerges on his face. 

Jaehyun laughs at the innocent request, breaking him free from the mess of voices swarming around his mind. “Duh,” he smiles back.

~

“So, make sure you remember the difference between the molecular formula and structural formula of a compound, because you’re going to have to know how to do both. And remember when you’re drawing any compound to make  _ sure _ to clearly draw the right number of bonds and electrons. Every detail matters on the upcoming unit test, so-”

The bell signalling the end of fourth period rings mid-sentence, cutting off the teacher’s voice. Students immediately begin to talk and get up from their seats, as if the bell alone was enough to excuse them for the day. Mr. Qian sighs, but smiles, shaking his head to himself. He waits for the ringing to subside.

“Quiz this Friday on aldehydes and ketones,” he calls out over the chatter of students, his hands in his pockets. “Make sure you review today’s notes,” he adds before taking a seat at his desk. Several keeners readily swarm him with questions as soon as he’s seated. 

Lucas finishes sending off another text before shutting his organic chemistry textbook and stuffing it into his bag. He takes a moment to stretch in his seat before getting up to make his way out of the classroom. He scans the crowd of students leaving the classroom until he finds the back of the head he’s looking for, and walks a little faster to catch up to his skinny, anchovy-shaped friend.

“Hey, Doyoung,” he taps him on the shoulder, walking beside him. “You think you could share your notes from today’s class with me?”

Doyoung rolls his eyes, not breaking pace or even looking over as he makes his way to his locker. “Second day of school and you’re already falling behind? This must be a new record.”

“Nah, I’m sure Johnny is somehow already a month behind in all his classes even though it’s just been two days.”

“Wow, how impressive,” Doyoung says flatly, laced with sarcasm. He tries walking a little faster to try and outpace Lucas, but to little avail. His legs just weren’t long enough. He was at a clear mathematical disadvantage.

“So…is that a yes?” Lucas grins, following him down the hall.

“Well, maybe if you weren’t so busy texting with your fangirls during class, you’d actually be able to, I don’t know, take your own notes?” 

“Come on,” Lucas breaks into a light jog, running in front of Doyoung. He turns around to face him, stopping him in the middle of the hall. “Just this once. I won’t ask again. It’s senior year and I’m trying to get my grades up for college.”

Doyoung purses his lips, hands on his hips. His eyes dart around briefly, looking to see if anyone was listening in. There’s a moment of silence before he sighs and swings his backpack around over his shoulder, taking out his organic chemistry binder. “Just this once,” he says under his breath. “You better return it to me first thing tomorrow morning. And don’t,” he narrows his eyes, “tell anyone about this, not even Johnny or Yuta. I’m not going to become your little football team’s personal tutor this year. And that includes you,” he points a finger at Lucas’s broad chest. He sticks his tongue out into his cheek and looks Lucas up and down. “I don’t know how we ended up sharing literally every single class this semester. Talk about a stroke of twisted fate.”

Lucas’s face brightens, as if only registering the part where he found out that Doyoung would let him borrow his notes. He pulls Doyoung in for a hug. He could imagine the exasperated look on his face at the sudden contact and unexpectedness of it. Lucas breaks the hug and holds Doyoung by the shoulders. “Thanks man. And yeah. I promise.” He takes the binder under his arm.

Doyoung’s shaking his head, but he’s smiling. “Remind me why we’re friends again?”

“That’s a rhetorical question, right?”

“Your life is a rhetorical question.”

“Ouch,” Lucas grasps at his chest playfully. “But to answer your question, it’s because I genuinely like you as a person.”

Doyoung laughs. “Not just my brain?”

“Well, that’s a bonus.” 

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Doyoung grins. “I think. Now if you’d excuse me, I have a student government meeting in five,” he turns to shoot Lucas a smile before walking off. “See you tomorrow.”

Lucas gives him a salute and spins on his heel, making his way back down the hall to his locker. He waves and greets almost every student he passes by along the way, stopping every once in a while to engage in conversational small talk with friends that he hadn’t yet run into since the beginning of the new school year, catching each other up over their summers, what their plans were after graduating, and other random gossip. Irene was voted the prettiest girl in school on some online Facebook poll, four years in a row. Mark found a new weed supplier and was selling for cheaper now. Taeyong was throwing a houseparty on Friday to kick off senior year and wanted him to go.  _ Et cetera, et cetera. _ Being popular had its perks, but it was exhausting. 

Almost half an hour goes by before he finally makes it to his locker. Jennie’s there waiting for him, leaning on the locker next to his and filing her nails with a careful gaze, hands outstretched. She’s already changed into her cheerleading uniform, probably for practice later today. It’s tight and skimpy, and perfectly tailored to her body.

“Took you long enough,” she says, not even looking over. It was as if she could sense him from a mile away and kept tabs on his every move. She smiles wryly, her cat eyes narrowing, still focused on her nails. “What were you talking about.”

Lucas sighs internally. “Just the usual,” he says, mechanically entering his locker combination. If he’s completely honest, he wasn’t too fond of Jennie. She was pretty, and cool and everything, but… just not his type. He’d never actually tell her that, though.

“So,” she says, twisting a finger in her hair. “Taeyong’s throwing a houseparty on Friday.”

“I heard,” Lucas replies, throwing a few textbooks into his locker in exchange for his gear and a football, spinning it in his hands. “Are you going?”

“Duh,” she says flatly. “With Irene and Yuqi, obviously. And maybe a few others. You?”

“I’m thinking about it,” he says as he shuts his locker, Jennie reappearing behind it - this time, with her eyes locked onto his. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” 

Lucas takes a deep breath, holding onto the straps of his backpack as he meets her gaze. “I don’t know. I’ll see what the boys say.”

Jennie raises one of her painted eyebrows. “I’m assuming by ‘ _ boys’ _ you’re referring to the football team and our other friends, and not people like the nerd we bumped into yesterday.”

“What?”

A smirk emerges on her face, as if she got the response she was probing for. “You know, the nerd with the glasses that we ran over in the hallway. Who was that, by the way? I heard from Yuta that he’s your  _ neighbour _ and that you were making a big fuss about it to the team.” She looks him in the eyes, searching his face for his reaction.  _ “I’ve _ never heard of him,” she says condescendingly. “I didn’t know you started making friends with losers now.”

Lucas inhales sharply, muscles tensing. He didn’t know what her motive was, but it was clearly working. “His  _ name _ is Jaehyun,” he says sternly, “and he’s actually a really nice guy. Just because you don’t know him, doesn’t mean he doesn’t exist. And no, I wasn’t going to invite him to Friday. We’re not close. But if we were,” he adds, “I don’t see a problem with it.”

“Wow, no need to get so  _ defensive _ ,” Jennie scoffs, her voice laced with poison. “Just asking a question. You know how I like to stay updated with _ … _ school affairs.” 

“I gotta make it to practice,” he says, ending the conversation. “I’ll see you later.”

He walks past her but this time, she doesn’t follow him, instead taking out her phone to send a text, her face ridden with an ambiguous expression.

~

The rest of the week flies by as Jaehyun’s days return to the routine structure of school. He misses summer. At least it’s finally Friday. 

Jaehyun opens the door to his house and quickly washes his hands with an intoxicatingly sweet  _ Bath and Body Works  _ foam soap before running upstairs to his room. He throws his backpack aimlessly onto the floor and collapses onto his bed. He lifts up his head to check the time on the Ikea clock on the opposite wall, and sighs. Half an hour before he had to make his way to the diner.

He didn’t usually work during the school year, but business has been booming in the past few months after a new movie theatre had opened up nearby, and his mom had extended the opening hours on Friday nights to capitalize on patrons. She normally stayed late herself to help close, but only recently asked Jaehyun to help out on Fridays since not too many people were willing to run the late shift now that school was starting again. He’d worked part-time at the diner over the summer, so he was already familiar with how things worked, and, well, he couldn’t exactly say no when his mom was his boss. 

He was tired from school, but he had a few minutes to lie down and collect himself before having to get up again. Jaehyun sighs as he notices Jeffrey in the corner of his eye, lying limply on the other side of the bed. He turns over to grab him, hugging the bear close to his chest. He hasn’t really had time to think about his big revelation earlier on in the week, having for the most part, sequestered it into a dark corner of his brain. He wants to lock his confession up in a chest and throw away the key, but he can’t bring himself to. His feelings were too real. He recalls the stupid promise he’d made to the stuffed bear.  _ Before this year ends, I’m going to ask Lucas Wong out on a date _ , he’d said. 

Jaehyun actually laughs out loud. How was that even supposed to be possible? Where would he even begin? Maybe it was just a spur of the moment type of thing. Maybe he was just being a hormonal, overly emotional teenage boy. Maybe, it just…wasn’t meant to be. 

“What do you think, Jeffrey?” He asks the bear, holding it out in front of him. “Do you think I have a chance?”

Jeffrey only stares back at him with his big, beady eyes. 

“Of course you wouldn’t. And I’m crazy,” he shakes his head at himself, putting the bear down. He rolls over to the other side of his bed and his vision shifts to his acoustic guitar leaning on the wall. He sighs, getting up from the bed to reach for his guitar. It’s been a while since he’d last played. He brings it up onto his lap, experimentally testing a few strings, tuning them a little. He reaches for his pick and takes a deep breath before he starts strumming, letting his feelings pour out into the strings, through his deep baritone voice,

_ He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar, _

_ The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart, _

_ He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do. _

_ He's the time taken up, _

_ But there's never enough, _

_ And he's all that I need to fall into. _

Jaehyun gingerly puts down his guitar. The calluses on his fingers sting a little at the pressure from the strings, not having played in a while. He takes a deep breath and laughs a little at how much of an emotional wreck he’s being right now.

What was he supposed to  _ do _ with this? Lucas was a fucking celebrity at school and he was a nobody. And he was fine with that - he had everything he needed in his mom and Sicheng. But there was a void growing in his heart that was trying to make room for something else. Someone else. 

Why was this so hard? 

He takes a glance at the time again.  _ Damn _ . He was running late. This mess could wait. He gets up and quickly changes into his employee uniform, a red polo shirt with neatly tailored brown chinos, fitting comfortably on his body. He takes a look in the mirror and slips a white cap snugly over his head, that says  _ Jeong’s  _ in red cursive. 

He runs downstairs and shuts the door, leaping down the porch stairs and practically jumping onto his bike. He purses his lips and channels his energy into pedalling as fast as he could, hoping he’d be able to leave the loose ends of his heart behind him in the dust. 

~

  
  


“And your total comes out to $29.67,” Jaehyun says, sliding the receipt into the pocket of the padded leather folder and placing it on the table. “Is that going to be on one bill, or separate? And how will you be paying today?”

“Credit, please,” the male guest says. “And one bill is fine,” he adds, looking sweetly at his date across the table. They were a good looking couple - the girl was pretty, and the guy was handsome. She had red hair with a light sprinkling of freckles across her face, which made her look classic and youthful. He had blonde hair and blue eyes, and a broad physique, his muscular arms clearly visible through his shirt. A faint pang of jealousy rings in Jaehyun’s chest, although he wasn’t entirely sure whether it was jealousy or attraction. Or both. 

“Alright, I’ll be right back,” Jaehyun replies, gathering the remaining dishes from off the table with his free hand. He walks carefully into the kitchen to drop them off, and returns shortly after with the credit card machine. He hands it over to the man, who already has his credit card ready between his fingers. “How did you find your meal today?” He asks, as the man keys in the prompts on the machine.

“It was great,” the female guest says, brushing a few stray strands of hair behind her ears. “The kimchi fries here are so good. We get them every time.” 

“I’m glad to hear that,” Jaehyun smiles. “They’re my favourite, too.” It always made him happy to hear patrons gush over his mom’s food as much as he did. 

The man hands him back the machine as it prints the customer receipt. “Would you like a copy of the receipt?” 

“I’m fine, thanks.”

“Alright,” Jaehyun replies, tearing it from the machine. He looks it over briefly and notices the addition of a generous tip to the total before stuffing it into his apron’s pocket. “Thanks so much for visiting  _ Jeong’s Diner _ ,” he beams. “I hope you two enjoy the rest of your night.”

He quickly wipes down and resets the table in preparation for its next guests, which would probably come over any second seeing as though there was a lineup at the diner’s entrance. They were busier than usual tonight with a blockbuster movie premiering at the nearby theatre. Families with young children, couples out on dates, and rowdy teenagers hanging out with their friends filled the diner’s walls with a cacophony of conversations and laughter. The smell of hot Korean food drifted through the air, and K-pop music played faintly in the background, barely audible above the guests’ voices. To Jaehyun, it felt like home. 

That being said, he was tired as hell. Jaehyun glances at his watch.  _ Thank god.  _ Just another few minutes before Wendy’s shift, and he’d be able to sit down for a bit and take a break. 

He’d might as well get the order of the next guest started before she took over. He runs into the kitchen to wash his hands before emerging back into the dining area with his notebook, approaching the table with the new, lone patron already seated, turned away from Jaehyun. His broad back looked somewhat familiar from behind, but he’s too busy and too tired to register anything meaningful in his brain. 

“Hi, welcome to  _ Jeong’s Diner _ ,” Jaehyun says methodically, whipping out his notepad and pencil. “What can I get for you today?” When he looks up at the guest, a frantic wave of emotions washes over him as he processes the familiar face, and its animated eyes, tan skin, and jawline that could carve diamonds. He almost wants to run or hide, but it was already too late. He’s not so sure his body could move even if he wanted it to.

“Jaehyun?” Lucas says with a hint of shock in his deep voice, seemingly equally as surprised. “I didn’t think I’d see you here.” 

“I um, told you my mom owns the diner, right?” Jaehyun manages to squeeze out. He can feel his heart quicken in his chest. 

“Yeah,” Lucas laughs, “I guess it just didn’t cross my mind that you worked here too.” He analyzes his face for a second. “You look different without your glasses.”

Jaehyun freezes.  _ That’s right. _ Lucas probably never saw him without his glasses before. Was that a good thing? “Yeah, they uh, get in the way when I’m working, so I wear contacts whenever I’m waitering.”

Lucas purses his lips with an unreadable expression on his face, nodding. His eyes drift back to the open menu in his hands. “So, what do you recommend?” He gives Jaehyun a toothy grin. 

“Um,” Jaehyun stutters, “our uh, seafood pancake is popular, and so is the bulgogi. But the Kimchi fries are always a good option if you’re unsure.” He desperately tries to suppress the will to scream.

Lucas thinks for a few seconds, placing one of his absurdly long fingers to his full lips. “I’ll have everything.” 

“You… you what?”

“I’ll take all three items,” Lucas repeats, still smiling. “And two bottles of grapefruit soju. I haven’t eaten anything since after practice and I’m fucking starving,” he trails off a little. “And I was thinking that maybe we could share, if you weren’t too busy,” he says confidently, but in a slightly quieter voice.

Jaehyun feels his heart stop. He’s not sure what to make of this. “I… sure,” he blurts out, mentally kicking himself for being embarrassing. Fucking  _ Lucas Wong _ was at his diner and asked to eat with him at  _ his _ fucking table. He quickly scribbles down the order on his notepad. “I’ll be right back,” he says, turning around and making a beeline for the kitchen. 

He rips off the order and leaves it on the counter for the chefs to process. He leans against the counter and takes a moment to let what just happened sink in.  _ Lucas Wong just asked him to have dinner with him _ . He takes a look at his watch - his shift ended a few minutes ago. Jaehyun sighs to himself. He wanted this. He really did. He just wasn’t sure if he was ready to see him again so soon. But did he have a reason to say no? What did he really have to lose? 

“Hey Jae,” a bright voice greets him from behind. 

Jaehyun turns to see Wendy smiling at him, tying her platinum blonde hair into a bun. “Wendy, you made it,” he smiles weakly. Wendy was a long-time waitress at the diner, having worked for his mom since she was in high school. She was in college now, but continued to work on Fridays and weekends since she was still close. He’d known her since he moved here, and she felt like a big sister to him. 

“Yeah, sorry I’m a little late,” she says, pulling an apron over her uniform. “Busy night, huh?”

“Super,” Jaehyun replies. “It’s kinda crazy out there.”

Wendy giggles. “Yeah, well, you go take a break, I’ll take it from here. I’m on until 9.” She pats him on the shoulder. “Catch me up on your first week of school later, okay?” She gives him a wink before walking past him into the dining area, her blonde hair bouncing as she went. 

Jaehyun stands frozen for a few seconds before hurriedly ripping off his apron and running to the washroom. He splashes some water on his face and takes a quick look in the mirror to check his appearance. He takes off his cap so he can adjust his bangs, and takes a few steps back to fix his shirt, tucking it a little tighter into his pants. He was exhausted, but he still looked pretty cute. 

_ Come on Jaehyun. You can do this, _ he thinks to himself, patting his cheeks with the palms of his hands. 

~

Lucas isn’t sure what to make of the situation. 

He was being honest when he said that he didn’t think to see Jaehyun here, but asking him to sit down and have dinner with him was done purely on impulse. He was half-joking and half-serious, and there was a part of him that didn’t think he’d actually say yes - but there’s another part of him that’s really happy he did. 

Jaehyun looked different without his glasses on. It felt weird to see him outside of school like this, in a completely different context and a different environment, without the constraints of his friends around him or the bullshit social hierarchy that they imposed on other students. None of that mattered here. It was just Jaehyun, as he was. And he actually looked… handsome. Cute, even.

_ What the fuck am I thinking. _ Lucas pushes the thought away, but it comes creeping back. He couldn’t explain what he felt whenever he ran into Jaehyun, or when his name came up in conversation with his friends, and he fucking hated that. He  _ needs _ to be in control. That’s just the way he is, and he needed to figure this out.

Why was he feeling so partial to this guy? 

His phone vibrates.

**John SEO. 8.21pm.**

_ Yo _

_ Where are u _

_ Ur coming to Taeyong’s tonight rite?  _

_ Can u make it to Yuta’s pre or nah _

**Lucas Wong. 8.22pm.**

_ Yeah _

_ Not gonna make the pre tho… took a nap and i’m running late _

_ I’ll see you at Taeyong’s place at like _

_ 10ish _

**John SEO. 8.22pm.**

_ Alright, ur gonna have to make up for it tho lol _

_ We’re going hard tonight _

**Lucas Wong. 8.22pm.**

_ Lmao _

_ That’s fresh coming from a lightweight ;) _

**John SEO. 8.23pm.**

_ Shut up _

**Lucas Wong. 8.23pm.**

_ Loool  _

_ k I’ll be there in a bit _

_ I’m just grabbing something to eat rn  _

**John SEO. 8.24pm.**

_ Don’t be late lol _

_ k _

_ See u later _

**Lucas Wong. 8.25pm.**

_ No guarantees ;) jks _

_ Yeah _

_ Smell ya later _

Lucas laughs to himself. He loves messing with Johnny. Taeyong’s party is tonight, and he always threw the best house parties. It would be a fun time. But he had an hour to kill, and he needed to eat something or he’d get shitfaced. He could probably drink his body’s weight in hard liquor, but  _ nobody _ could drink on an empty stomach without dying, especially after football practice. If Johnny and Yuta wanted to black out, he wasn’t babysitting them either. There would be hot girls, so he needed to be on his game. 

Should he invite Jaehyun?

_ I didn’t know you started making friends with losers now. _

Jennie’s words from the other day echo in his mind. Lucas throws his phone on the table and clenches his fists. He definitely wasn’t giving in to Jennie’s poison - nobody dictated what he did or who he talked to, not even her. But tonight wasn’t the right time to invite Jaehyun out with him. He wasn’t friends with anyone there, and drinking probably wasn’t his thing. He’d be leading him blind into a shark tank.

But he honestly did want to get to know Jaehyun, for whatever it’s worth. 

_ Where did he go, anyway? _

~

Jaehyun takes a deep breath and walks out of the washroom, scanning the diner for the table where Lucas was sitting. He’s easy to find.

Even from a distance, Lucas was painfully handsome. Jaehyun walks over sheepishly and takes a seat on the bench across from him.

“Hey,” he says a little too quietly, probably barely audible over the buzz of the diner. 

Lucas looks up from his phone. “Welcome back,” he grins, putting his phone down. “Are you on break now?”

“Yeah, just finished my shift a few minutes ago,” he says, twiddling his thumbs. Jaehyun musters up the courage to look Lucas in the eye, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach. He was dressed somewhat fancier than usual, a black turtleneck with a gold chain around his neck, his hair neatly styled and slicked back with a few loose strands deliberately left hanging over his forehead. He looked like he was about to shoot a pictorial for a high-end fashion magazine. For a football player, he knew how to style himself fashionably. “Are you here alone?” Jaehyun asks awkwardly. 

“Yeah,” Lucas replies. “Just finished practice a few hours ago. I’m going to a party tonight, so I washed up and changed, but I didn’t eat anything yet and I was hungry as fuck. Thought I’d grab a bite here before making my way over.” Lucas takes a sip of his water, leaning back in his seat. “Dope uniform, by the way.”

Jaehyun feels his cheeks flush. “Thanks,” he says. “I was surprised to see you here.”

“Yeah man. I did tell you the other day that this is one of my favourite places to eat out, right?” He clasps his hands together on the table. “It’s funny how we’ve always sort of been around each other, but never really crossed paths until now.”

“Yeah,” Jaehyun says. He had a point. “I just recently started working a shift on Fridays, so maybe that’s why we haven’t run into each other here.”

“That could be it. I usually come here on Friday nights,” Lucas chuckles. There’s a pregnant pause and he starts fiddling with the ring on his right index finger. “I just wanted to apologize again for the other day,” he says a little quieter. He looks back up at Jaehyun. “I don’t know why, but it’s been really weighing on my conscience.”

“It’s honestly fine.”

“No, it’s not.” Lucas says immediately. “We’ve been neighbours and classmates for years, but I didn’t even take the time to get to know you literally ran into me. I just… feel really bad about everything.” He laughs a little to himself, shaking his head. “This is senior year, our last year in high school, and… I realized the other day after what happened that there were people in my life that I subconsciously chose not to interact with. People like you. Not because I didn’t like them, but… because, I guess, I was conditioned to ignore the people that didn’t voluntarily choose to be in my life. There were always so many people practically begging to be friends with me that I didn’t really have to try. And I feel like I got caught up in all of it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends, but - I don’t give a fuck about all that popularity bullshit, you know? I just don’t want to be an asshole.”

“Well... thanks,” Jaehyun says. “And if it’s worth anything… I don’t think you’re an asshole.” He allows himself to smile. He’s not sure what else to say - this is a side of Lucas that he’d never expected to see. It was strangely relieving to know that the guy you secretly had a crush on wasn’t a shitty person. After a moment of reading his expression, Lucas smiles back.

“Two grapefruit sojus!” 

Jaehyun turns to see Wendy walking over, dangerously holding a huge platter of food and two bottles of soju. She cocks her head playfully when she notices Jaehyun at the table. 

“Thank you so much,” Lucas’s expression brightens as he makes eye contact with the hot, steaming food being placed on the table in front of them. 

“You’re very welcome,” she replies. “Jaehyun, you didn’t tell me that you were meeting a friend here tonight,” she says as she twists the caps off the soju bottles. She places the open bottles on the table along with two shot glasses. 

“Yeah, uh, it was a surprise.”

“Well,” Wendy says in a heightened tone of voice, “any friend of Jaehyun’s is a friend of mine. Enjoy your meal, you two. Now… I gotta run!” She rubs his shoulder before running off to the sea of tables beckoning for service. 

Lucas pulls out his phone to take a picture of the food on the table. Jaehyun waits patiently for him to finish before digging in - he was already used to waiting from eating with Sicheng, who insisted on documenting every meal they had together with a photo of each dish, and from several different angles. 

“This looks so fucking good,” Lucas rubs his hands together, throwing a cloth napkin over his lap and grabbing a pair of metal chopsticks from a container on the table. “Wait, I almost forgot,” he puts the chopsticks down and reaches for the soju. He pours it into the shot glasses until they’re nearly overflowing, and places one carefully in front of Jaehyun.

“Thanks,” Jaehyun takes the shot in his hands, barely managing to keep it from spilling. 

“Cheers,” Lucas says, “to my new friend, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun can only blink like an idiot before Lucas throws the shot down, and hurriedly drinks the shot with him. The soju was light and refreshing. Grapefruit was a good choice.

Maybe it would cool down whatever fire was threatening to consume him from the inside. 

~

They spend the next half hour or so chatting about the most random things over dinner and learning more about each other. They weren’t sharing their life stories or anything, and Jaehyun was still very much guarded, and could sense that Lucas was being somewhat guarded as well - after all, this was their first time actually having a proper conversation. But they talked openly about where they lived and went to school before going to Neo Tech, what their hobbies were, what courses they were taking. It was… pleasant.

He told Lucas how he’d moved to Connecticut from Seoul during middle school, and told him about Sicheng (Lucas didn’t know who he was, either, but promised to meet him when he had a chance). He hadn’t chosen the colleges he’d apply to yet, but he knew he wanted to go into engineering. Lucas was born in Hong Kong, and moved a lot when he was little before also settling down in Connecticut for high school. He liked football, and wasn’t entirely sure of what he wanted to study in college yet either, only that he was determined to get in with a full sports scholarship. Lucas liked sports, Jaehyun liked video games and anime. Lucas liked trap and hip hop, Jaehyun liked country music. Lucas drank and smoked weed, Jaehyun didn’t. But even though they were so different - it was easy for Jaehyun to talk to Lucas. 

He wasn’t judgemental like he thought he’d be. In some aspects, Lucas was similar to Sicheng, in the open-minded, almost innocent way they listened to other people, and in the unapologetic, carefree manner that they carried themselves.

Lucas exerted an almost palpable confidence that was both captivating and polarizing. And of course, on top of everything, he was objectively,  _ unequivocally _ beautiful, and Jaehyun could tell that he knew it himself. He could see how people at school were falling over themselves to be friends with him. Talking to  _ Lucas fucking Wong _ was still definitely a little intimidating - but after seeing this side of his personality, he didn’t seem as scary as he did before.

It takes them around an hour to finish everything they’d ordered.

“That was awesome,” Lucas stretches in his seat, folding his arms across his back and rolling his shoulders. He checks his watch. “But I should probably get going. I’m running a little late to Taeyong’s party.”

“No worries, my break is almost over too. I should probably get back to work,” Jaehyun says. “Are you sure you’re still able to drink after eating all that food?”

Lucas actually laughs out loud. “Dude, don’t worry about it. That was nothing. If anything, I’m still hungry.”

“You - what?” Was he joking? Jaehyun was stuffed.  _ He couldn’t possibly be serious…?  _

“Thanks for the meal,” Lucas says, taking out his wallet. “The food was fucking amazing. I’d stay for dessert, but I’m already probably 5 shots behind...” He pulls out a hundred dollar bill and throws it on the table. “Dinner’s on me.”

“Wait,” Jaehyun stares at the money in shock, “it... it won’t be that expensive. And I can split the bill with you.”

“Nah, there’s no need,” Lucas says nonchalantly with a dismissive wave of his hand. He gets up from his seat and straightens his clothes. “It’s nothing. You can keep the change.”

“No, but-”

“We should do this again sometime,” Lucas says. “I’ll see you around.” He gives a salute before turning promptly around and making his way out of the diner.

Jaehyun stares at the hundred dollar bill lying on the table, dumbfounded. He’s not sure what’s more shocking - the fact that he just had dinner with Lucas Wong, or that Lucas Wong literally threw a hundred dollars at him like it was five dollars. The diner’s still bustling with customers and he’s on next for the closing shift, so he doesn’t wait for Wendy to come over to print the bill or clean the table. He gets up from the table and starts clearing the dishes, hoping it would distract himself from the way his heart wanted to burst out of his chest.

~

The next Friday, Lucas shows up alone at the diner again, at around the same time.

It wasn’t too surprising, since he did say that he’d always been a Friday regular at the diner, but Jaehyun couldn’t help but feel that maybe, just maybe, he wanted to see him too. Or maybe he was just being delusional and injecting meaning where there was none, to align with the narrative he wanted in his hormonal teenage brain. In all fairness, it’s hard not to, though, when your crush happens to be the hottest guy in school. 

Even after they’d opened up a little to each other last week, it still unsettles him to see Lucas again, but Jaehyun’s on break for an hour between his shifts and needs to eat dinner anyway, so they sit together, and they talk more over food.

Lucas tells him how the party went last week, how Yuta and Johnny had gotten drunk out of their minds and passed out after losing to him in a drinking contest, even after he’d caught up to them for arriving late. Doyoung, student government president, had reluctantly shown up after giving in to Lucas’s incessant nagging about  _ “just letting loose and having fun for once” _ , but unexpectedly became unhinged at the sight of alcohol and ended up vomiting in Taeyong’s bathroom, much to Lucas’s amusement. Mark, their school’s infamous pothead, had gotten so high that he started hallucinating and tried making out with himself. Lucas shows Jaehyun the video he had of it on his phone, and he lets himself laugh.

Nothing even remotely as interesting happened to him since last Friday, but Jaehyun tells Lucas about his uneventful week anyway. His mom’s experimenting with a new menu and was thinking of adding more fusion items, like a bulgogi burrito or kimchi spaghetti, to which Lucas gladly volunteers to taste test. A few days ago, he and Sicheng had officially tried all the boba flavours at  _ Chatime _ , which they both admit was pretty impressive. He’s also managed to keep up his 100% test streak in calculus so far. 

It was easy to talk to Lucas, and he listened intently to everything Jaehyun had to say, even though he could tell it was different from the things he probably usually talked about with his friends. But he never felt judgement from him - if anything, it was… comfortable.

At first, Jaehyun plays it off to sheer coincidence that they had dinner together for 2 weeks in a row.

But Lucas also shows up the Friday after that.

And the Friday after that.

And the ones after that.

Eventually, Jaehyun allows himself to believe that Lucas  _ does _ want to see him. 

Whatever Lucas’s reasons for coming were, one thing was for certain - Jaehyun couldn’t help the way his heart tugged at his chest whenever Lucas walked through the doors of  _ Jeong’s Diner _ . They don’t get to talk much during the week since they’re taking different courses, and if anything, nothing’s really changed at school. When they do happen to run into each other in the halls, it’s just a brief  _ hey _ or a subtle nod of the head without any real conversation. 

But on Friday nights, things are different. Every week, Lucas comes at the same time, and Jaehyun sits down with him. They talk about everything and anything, from laughing at the most ridiculous memes they could find on the internet to having deep philosophical conversations about the meaning of life.

It was almost as if the Lucas that visited him on Fridays was different from the Lucas that he went to school with. 

Jaehyun learns more and more about him, and lets himself open up more and more. 

Friday nights at the diner becomes their “thing”. 

Life seemed to be going perfectly - Jaehyun was doing well in school, his mom’s business was booming, and he had his own secret private time with Neo Tech’s hottest guy every week. He also secretly happened to have a crippling crush on said guy. 

But that was the problem. That it was a  _ secret _ . He knew that Lucas liked girls - was famous for it, even. He’s had a long history of exes, all of them pretty and popular. And of course, the most obvious girl next in line was Jennie Kim. Everyone was talking about it. For whatever reason, Lucas never mentioned anything about Jennie or talked about girls around him, but Jaehyun knew that he probably had his eyes on her. 

He’d never have him. 

It’s for that reason that Jaehyun had also kept this entire thing with Lucas a secret from Sicheng. This was the first and only time that he’d ever kept a secret from his best friend, but telling him would mean telling him that he was gay. Sicheng had no reason to suspect him of his sexuality - after all, they rarely talked about relationships, and when they did, it was Sicheng talking about girls and Jaehyun pretending to be interested. Jaehyun didn’t know what he’d think about it. And it was for that reason that he was completely, absolutely  _ terrified _ . What if Sicheng hated him for it? What if he couldn’t accept him for who he was?

It’s true that someone that didn’t allow you to be true to yourself wasn’t worth keeping around. But that was easier said than done. You could preach self love all you want, but who would be comfortable to risk throwing away a decade-long friendship with someone who had been your rock, who had laughed and cried with you, grown up with you and was there for you through thick and thin? That your mom loved as her own son? That you loved as your own brother?

He didn’t want to lose his best friend.

As much as these secret outings with Lucas made his heart happy, it had pushed his secret deeper and deeper inside of him, and it was eating him from the inside out. 

Jaehyun didn’t know if he’d ever confess to Lucas. But one thing was painstakingly clear - he  _ did _ need to confess to Sicheng. Whether Lucas was in his life or not, being honest to his best friend was important. 

No more secrets.

~

_ We're drivin' down the road, _

_ I wonder if you know. _

_ I'm trying so hard not to get caught up now _

_ But you're just so cool. _

_ Run your hands through your hair _

_ Absent mindedly making me want you. _

_ And I don't know how it gets better than this _

_ You take my hand and drag me head first _

_ Fearless _

_ And I don't know why but with you I'd dance _

_ In a storm in my best dress _

_ Fearless _

~

Lucas dribbles the basketball through his legs in an intentionally arrogant display of skill before zooming past Johnny and performing a clean lay-up. The ball hits the backboard and passes through the net with a clean  _ swoosh _ .

“Nothin’ but net,” he says, smiling. He catches the ball as it falls out from underneath the net and throws it back over to Johnny, who’s rolling his eyes and standing somewhat annoyingly at the edge of the half-court where they’re playing a quick game of one-on-one. “That’s 12-4, Seo.”

“Yeah, whatever. You’re lucky my good arm is out of commission today.”

“Exerted too much energy from jacking off?” 

“Shut up,” Johnny laughs, dribbling experimentally. He suddenly sprints to the net and shoots, but Lucas jumps and intercepts the shot, slapping the ball away, perhaps a little too forcefully. “Shit.”

Lucas laughs as he runs after the ball, picking it up and jogging back over to where Johnny’s already standing with his arms out in an attempt at blocking him. Lucas grins. He stands at the three point line and fakes a shot, causing Johnny to jump in anticipation of intercepting him like he’d just done, but ultimately ends up falling for his feint. The brief moment it takes him to recover allows Lucas a clean view of the net, and he jumps and shoots with a flick of his wrist. Johnny helplessly watches the ball as it spins through the air and falls straight through the rusted metal hoop.

“15-4,” Lucas winks. “Looks like you owe me a beer.”

“Fuck you”, Johnny says, sticking out his tongue. He retrieves the ball and they walk over to the bench where they’d left their water bottles. They sit down and take a moment to catch their breath. “You know,” Johnny says, turning to him, “you’re the only person that somehow beats me at every single sport. Everyone else on the team sucks at basketball. Like, it’s so easy to beat the shit out of Yuta.”

“Maybe your height gives you an unfair advantage?” Lucas takes a gulp of water. “But because we’re both tall, it comes down to skill when we play.”

Johnny shoves him in the shoulder playfully. “Fuck you,” he says again, laughing. 

Lucas was annoying him on purpose, but only because he knew that Johnny knew he was teasing. Johnny was an easy-going guy and never once got angry at him, or anyone else for that matter, during the 4 years that he’d known him. It’s for that reason that Lucas enjoyed spending time with him - aside from their shared interests and both being on the same sports teams throughout high school, he’d always had a laidback energy that made him easy to talk to, and fun to be around. You could tease him and he’d tease back, knowing that it was all lighthearted and in good faith. He could take a joke. He wasn’t sensitive like Yuta maybe was. Lucas still loved Yuta all the same, but for different reasons. Yuta was a fiercely loyal friend, and he could always count on him to make things right whenever he got in a fight, whether it was with another one of their teammates, or a player on the enemy team during a game. In contrast, Johnny wasn’t ever nearly as hotheaded, even when he was expected to be. But behind his Korean-American jock exterior was a big softie that was always there for him whenever Lucas wanted to talk.

They sit on the bench for a while, staring at the late afternoon sky, now beginning to show hues of orange and yellow behind wispy clouds. A breeze blows through the park, sending a chill through Lucas’s body that was much appreciated. He was wearing a jersey and shorts, and would otherwise be cold if he hadn’t been sweating and playing basketball just minutes ago. It was early December, but it wasn’t snowing yet. 

The first half of senior year was coming to a close, and it felt all too fast. 

“You got any plans for Christmas?” Johnny asks.

“No, not at the moment,” Lucas raises an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Irene told me the other day that she and Jennie were planning a trip to a ski resort over the break. All the usual suspects are going. Taeyong, Mark, Jungwoo. Even Doyoung,” he chuckles. “She told me to ask the team. Yuta’s already said yes.”

Lucas nods contemplatively. “What about you?”

“Haven’t decided yet. Wanted to ask my boy what he thought first,” he nudges Lucas with a closed fist. 

“I’m in if you are.”

“Alright,” Johnny smiles. “Then we’re going!” He gets up and raises a fist exaggeratedly in the air before sitting back down next to him. “Can’t wait. Skiing, hot tubs, and a shit load of alcohol. Oh, and hot girls,” he adds with a raised finger. “And speaking of hot girls,” he trails off a little, as if testing the waters. “What’s going on with you and Jennie?”

Just hearing her name made him tense up. “What do you mean?”

“You know… like… are you gonna make a move yet?”

“I’m not really interested.” Lucas tries not to let his expression twist into one of disdain. Were people expecting him to? Johnny never gave a shit about school gossip. If this reached even him… was someone trying to put that rumour out there? But why would anyone even have a reason to? 

“Really?” Johnny seems a little taken aback. “I feel like she’s totally into you, though. Dude, it’s not easy to get a chance with a girl like that,” he raves. “She  _ always _ looks hot. Sure, she’s not like, Irene-pretty, and she’s not cute like Yuqi. But she’s bad as hell. And by bad, I mean like, she’s hot as fuck.”

“I get the point,” Lucas laughs. “But she’s not my type.”

“What  _ is  _ your type?” 

“I don’t know,” Lucas says. And he honestly doesn’t. “I just know it’s not her.”

There’s a moment of silence, and they take a few seconds to listen to the robins chirping in the distance. 

“That’s fair,” Johnny says. “I guess you’ve probably dated every type of girl there is at Neo Tech, anyway. Like Rosé, the hipster chick during freshman year. Then there was Lisa? The international student from Thailand? Oh,” he shifts in his seat, “and Jisoo. I really thought you guys were going to stay together for a long time.”

“Well, thanks, man. You’ve dated some pretty hot chicks yourself.”

“Yeah, but you’ve probably dated half the girls in our grade, and none of them hate you. That’s pretty fucking amazing.” Johnny leans over and rests his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together. “Look, I’m not trying to force this thing between you and Jennie, but everyone’s talking about it. Our star quarterback and the captain of the cheerleading squad? Neo Tech’s hottest Asian fuckboy and ABG? Together?” He makes an explosion sound. “Mind blown.” He looks over to Lucas, trying to read his face. “She has it all.”

Lucas chuckles. “I don’t think it’s what she has,” he says a little softly. “It’s what she doesn’t have, bro.” At this point, more of the blue sky is covered by a red-orange cast, like a bottle of red paint spilled onto a blue canvas. Lucas looks on in the distance. “I want someone who’s kind. Someone down to earth, who isn’t judgemental, of me, or anyone else. Someone that I can talk to, about anything, and have a good time with, without me having to worry about being  _ the quarterback _ , or  _ the Asian fuckboy _ .”

Suddenly, an image of Jaehyun appears in his mind.

Lucas’s eyes widen at the unexpectedness of it. He wants to stand up and run, but he reels back his reaction at the realization that Johnny’s still there next to him.  _ The fuck was he thinking of Jaehyun for…?  _

These past few months, he’d gone to the diner every Friday to have dinner with him. At first, it was just an innocent byproduct of his habit of eating out every Friday, and Jaehyun just  _ happened _ to be there. Back then, he’d still felt somewhat apologetic to him, so he took the opportunity to get to know him better. Why the fuck not?

But over time, if he was being completely and totally honest with himself… he started to  _ want _ to see Jaehyun. It didn’t feel like an obligation, or a chore - if anything, he looked forward to Fridays. And that was because he actually liked Jaehyun. 

As a friend.  _ As a friend… right? _

“Lucas?” Johnny waves his hand in front of his face. “You there man?”

He’s suddenly snapped out of his train of thought. “Uh.”

“You totally blanked out on me there,” Johnny laughs. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just,” he runs a hand over his face, “feeling kinda tired. I think I’m gonna go home and shower.”

Johnny looks at him a little worriedly. “Alright man. Get some rest. You’ve been going really hard every practice and at all our games. You gotta make sure to keep your head straight.”

_ Keep your head straight.  _ “Yeah, no kidding,” Lucas says a little weakly. He gets up from the bench. “It’s getting late. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Johnny stands up next to him and they pull each other in by the palm of their hands, knocking their shoulders together. “See you tomorrow.”

Lucas walks home feeling exhausted, but not from playing basketball. That ambiguous feeling he’s had about Jaehyun since the beginning of the year that he’d never been able to place, is starting to take shape, and he’s starting to see its true form. And he’s not so sure he likes what it’s playing out to be. His gut feeling is to reject it, to swear at it, to rip it apart. But there’s something in him that keeps himself from doing that. It wants him to keep it there. He didn’t like dudes. So why was Jaehyun making him feel this way? 

_ I want someone who’s kind. Someone down to earth, who isn’t judgemental, of me, or anyone else. Someone that I can talk to, about anything, and have a good time with, without me having to worry about being  _ the quarterback _ , or  _ the Asian fuckboy _. _

The sky’s dark by the time he’s walking up his driveway. He unlocks his door and shuts it behind him, a little too aggressively. He turns on the lights to an empty house. He feels empty again, and lonely. He wishes that there was someone here that he could talk to.

Was that person Jaehyun?

“Fuck,” he yells out loud. “Fuck!” He screams and punches the wall, probably a little harder than he intended to. His fist leaves a dent, but he doesn’t give a shit. He opens the fridge and pulls out a can of beer.

This was going to be a long night.

~

“It’s been forever since we just, I don’t know. Sat outside together and talked,” Sicheng says as they walk out of the cafeteria doors. 

They emerge behind the school, which was on the top of a small hill overlooking a vast football field surrounded by a running track. In the distance, middle schoolers were playing softball in the neighborhood park. Sicheng sits down part way down the long flight of concrete steps leading to the field and takes off his backpack, putting it next to him. It was after school, and most of the students had gone home by now. 

Today was the day.

“Yeah,” Jaehyun says a little flatly. He sits down next to Sicheng on the stairs. “Feels like old times, when we would just sit next to each other after school, not knowing what to say. Because neither of us knew English yet and we couldn’t communicate with each other,” he laughs. “Remember that?”

“Like it was yesterday,” Sicheng smiles, his eyes glassy, immediately reminiscent. “We used to just talk to each other in sign language and basic words. Don’t know how we survived.”

He smiles back. “Those were the days, huh?”

“Those were the days,” Sicheng repeats. He takes a moment to look out over the field, at the kids playing baseball in the distance. “So, you wanted to talk? Did something happen?”

Jaehyun tilts his head from side to side. “Well… kinda.”

“Jae, you know you can tell me anything right?” Sicheng turns to him. “Is it about school?” 

“No, it’s…”

“Did you fight with your mom?”

“No, Sicheng, I-”

“Something happen with a girl?”

“Sicheng,” Jaehyun says resolutely, turning to meet his gaze. “It’s something that I’ve known for a while now. Something about me.” His voice threatens to break, but he fights against it. “I haven’t been completely honest with you about it. Not because I wanted to lie to you, but… maybe because I didn’t even know the whole truth myself.” Sicheng’s eyes were fixed on his. They didn’t often talk about serious things, but when they did, Jaehyun knew that Sicheng would try his best to be patient and hear him through. “But it’s grown to a point where I can no longer ignore it, and I can’t hide it anymore. Not from me, or from you.”

“I’m listening,” his best friend says, softly.

“Sicheng, I… I don’t like girls,” Jaehyun says, feeling something shift inside of him. “And I never did.” He takes a deep breath, and closes his eyes. “I’m gay, Sicheng.”

There’s a moment of silence. 

Jaehyun keeps his eyes closed. He can hear the kids cheering in the distance, and feel a light breeze blow the strands of his hair, against his face. He doesn’t want to open his eyes, not just because he’s scared. But because he needed to let this out without trying to appease whatever emotion that he  _ thought _ could be appearing on his best friend’s face. He needed to say his piece without holding back.

Sicheng is quiet, so he continues, eyes still closed. “I know I can’t promise that this is going to be easy on you. Hell, it wasn’t easy for me. But this has been eating me up for a long time now, and it’s kept me from being honest with you about everything that’s been going on in my life. I always felt awkward whenever we talked about girls, or about relationships. Whenever we’d talk about our futures, and how we’d start families one day. The women we’d marry, the kids we’d have. But there was something in me that fought against that. That didn’t  _ want _ that. For the longest time when we were little, I didn’t know what it was. But as I grew older, it became clearer and clearer. In the past year, and especially these past few months… I feel like that part of me has finally surfaced. I feel like I’m not my authentic self around you anymore, Sicheng, and that’s what’s fucking killing me. And that’s why I need to tell you this, because… because you’re the only person other than my mom on the face of this fucking planet that truly understands me. 

“But that’s what scares the shit out of me. I don’t want to lose you… you’ve always been a constant in my life, Sicheng. You’ve always been there for me, in ways that even real brothers wouldn’t. And I’m scared,” his voice finally starts to break. He can feel tears well up in his eyes, but he keeps them closed. “I’m fucking scared. Because I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose you,” he repeats, a little louder the second time. “But I can’t keep this from you any longer. I don’t want to fucking lie to my best friend anymore.” He clenches his eyes shut tighter, but that just makes the tears stream down his face even more. “I hope that you understand.”

There’s another moment of silence. He’s said everything he’d wanted to, but he’s afraid of opening his eyes and looking at Sicheng. 

He puts his face in his hands and lets himself cry.

But before another tear could roll down his face, he feels himself being pulled to the side, and a pair of arms wrap around him like a blanket. He takes in the scent of cotton and Sicheng’s strawberry shampoo, and the familiar warmth of his best friend’s embrace. 

“Jae,” Sicheng says so softly, barely above the humming of the wind. “You will never, ever,  _ ever,  _ fucking lose me. Everything you said I am to you, you are to me. I don’t take any of it for granted, and if I ever did anything that made you doubt that, I’m so sorry. Nothing would ever make me fucking leave you. And certainly not this. I love you, Jae.”

Jaehyun’s sobbing now, but Sicheng doesn’t let go of him. 

They stay there for a long time like that, in each other’s arms.


	3. Blooming

It’s Friday, and the diner was busy, probably even a little more than usual since Christmas was coming up.

Jaehyun jumps from table to table with the skill of an experienced waiter, taking orders, delivering food, and clearing tables like a pro, constantly updating the queue in his head. It was difficult work, having to juggle so many things at once on top of being sociable with strangers, but multitasking was something he’d always been good at, and he was naturally pretty friendly, so waitering came easy to him. 

After he’d come out Sicheng, there’d been an extra little bounce in his step and an ease that came to even the most mundane daily tasks that made him so much happier to just _exist_ . Sicheng had been entirely supportive and if anything, was becoming a little _too_ nosy about his progress with Lucas ever since he had spilled everything to him. At this point, he’d gotten Jaehyun to squeeze out every detail of every interaction and _every conversation_ that he and Lucas had had since September. Of course, Jaehyun was happy to oblige. 

He checks his watch - it was almost his break time, which meant that it was almost time that Lucas would walk in. His heart races in anticipation, having been conditioned for the past few months to be excited at this exact time and place. He’s in the kitchen when he runs into Wendy, who’s in a little earlier than usual. 

“Jae?” She places a hand on his shoulder.

“Wendy,” he smiles. “What’s up?”

“Your friend came by the diner earlier,” she said, tying the strings of the apron behind her back. “Lucas, I think it was? He told me to pass on a message to you that he wouldn’t be coming today, or the next few weeks. Basically until the new year. Said something about having a game today, and then going on a trip with his friends over the break.” She pulls a crumpled piece of paper out from her pocket. “But he left me this.” She takes his hand, placing the piece of paper into his palm. “It’s his number. Told me to give it to you.”

Jaehyun opens the crumpled piece of paper, revealing a 10-digit number written with _horrible_ penmanship (nothing he couldn’t decipher though, but it was still pretty terrible). “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. It was nice seeing you two have such a nice time this past little while. I might even miss it.”

He laughs. “Why?”

“I don’t know, you just looked like you were always enjoying your dinners together. Made me think of you and Sicheng. Anyways,” she starts to walk off, “duty calls.” She smiles at him before making her way into the dining area.

He stares at the number for a good while before punching it into his phone. It’s only now that he realizes they hadn’t swapped phone numbers after all this time, but it never even crossed his mind. They never had a reason to, since they saw each so often already.

Jaehyun debates whether or not he should send Lucas a text immediately (he didn’t want to look desperate), but it probably wasn’t a big deal given that he’d literally left him his number with the expectation that he’d text him when he got it. He sits down at an empty table and stares intensely at his phone, typing and deleting each text until he’s satisfied with it. Surprisingly, Lucas responds right away.

**Jaehyun. 7.49pm.**

_Hey, it’s Jaehyun_

_Wendy gave me your number :-)_

**Lucas W. 7.49pm.**

_Sup_

_Sry I couldn’t make it today._

_Big game tonight against Dream High. Gonna crush em tho_

_I’m warming up right now, actually. Game’s on in 10_

**Jaehyun. 7.50pm.**

_Cool_

_Don’t wanna bother u! We can text later if u want_

**Lucas Wong. 7.50pm.**

_Nono, this is fine_

_I wanna talk to u lol keeps my mind off things._

_Trust me, the guys are not exactly good at calming my nerves lmao_

**Jaehyun. 7.50pm.**

_Haha k_

_Good luck on your game btw_

_If I wasn’t working, I’d totally come by to watch_

**Lucas Wong. 7.51pm.**

_I’d like that_

**Jaehyun. 7.51pm.**

_Idk anything about football tho_

**Lucas Wong. 7.51pm.**

_Lmao, doesn’t matter_

_U can watch me tackle the shit out of those puny dreamies_

**Jaehyun. 7.51pm.**

_Lol sounds like fun_

**Lucas Wong. 7.52pm.**

_U free tonight btw?_

_At like, 11ish maybe?_

**Jaehyun. 7.52pm.**

_Um, yeah, I think so_

_I mean, yes_

_What’s up?_

**Lucas Wong. 7.52pm.**

_Can I see you tonight?_

**Jaehyun. 7.52pm.**

_Hmmm yeah, should be fine_

_My shift finishes at 11_

_I’ll probably get back at like 11:30? Is that ok?_

**Lucas Wong. 7.53pm.**

_Sounds good._

_K I gotta go. Coach is calling_

**Jaehyun. 7.53pm.**

_Okay yeah gogogo_

_I’ll see u tonight then, I guess_

_GOOD LUCK!!!_

The texts stop, and Jaehyun puts his phone down. If he wasn’t sitting in the middle of his mom’s busy diner right now, he’d scream at the top of his lungs and start flailing his limbs like a crazy person. He didn’t know why Lucas suddenly wanted to hang out with him, but his mind couldn’t help but fly in a thousand different directions anyway.

They had only ever hung out at the diner, so getting to meet him outside of that felt foreign and personal in a way that they hadn’t been before. They were breaking the formula, and it was almost like an official confirmation that they really were friends - that this wasn’t all some sort of coincidence. 

He wants to pick up the salt shaker on his table and chuck it randomly across the diner to expel the excess energy building inside of him, but resists the urge. He picks his phone up again and decides to channel it into texting Sicheng instead.

**Jaehyun. 7.56pm.**

_Sicheng, you’ll never guess what just happened_

~

Lucas’s shoulders are killing him, but he ignores it. Bruises were the sign of a great game.

As expected, the Neo Tech Citizens had won their game against the Dreamies, a pretty well-known team from neighbouring school, Dream High Secondary. Although the Dreamies had speed on their side, the Citizens had speed _and_ strength, and Lucas took an almost twisted joy in tackling them ( _Dude, you’re a sadist,_ Johnny had said). By the fourth quarter, they’d already had a 20-point lead, and Lucas took pride in slamming a few extra touchdowns for good measure. The win brought their season record so far to a shining 5-0. If they could keep this up, they’d easily make it to the finals and bring home the trophy - for the fourth year in a row, since he’d joined the team as quarterback in freshman year.

The guys had tried to drag him out to celebrate, probably to drink and smoke weed in some parking lot, with the promise of hot girls. But he’d told Jaehyun that he would meet him after the game, and, well… he _wanted_ to see Jaehyun after the game. 

He wouldn’t actually tell the team that, though.

In fact, he hasn’t told the team or any of his other friends _anything_ about his little budding friendship with Jaehyun - not even Johnny. 

Ever since his little freak out a month ago (the wall in the foyer was still dented from where he’d punched it, serving as a constant reminder), he was able to very, _very_ reluctantly come to some sort of conclusion that even though he didn’t really know where this little “friendship” with Jaehyun was going, he was open to anything. Whatever that meant.

And he’d kept it all a secret, and he wanted it to stay that way, at least for now. Only because he wasn’t sure what to make of any of this just yet, and he didn’t want anybody stirring up some stupid rumours. He’d be able to take it, but Jaehyun wouldn’t. And that’s what it all boils down to - if people found out, Jaehyun might get hurt. It’s times like this where he wishes he wasn’t popular, so that he wouldn’t have to deal with all the nonsensical bullshit that came with having a reputation and social status. 

When they’d bumped into each other back in September and he’d gone to his house to apologize, he never thought that he’d develop any sort of lasting relationship with Jaehyun outside of being surface-level acquaintances at school. But here he was, making up an excuse to ditch the team after the game, running home like a little bitch and showering, shaving, and even dressing up to meet a guy that he didn’t even know existed 4 months ago.

How the fuck did they get here?

Lucas takes a long look at himself in his body-sized mirror, wearing nothing but boxer briefs. He takes a second to flex his muscles and admire himself before pulling a wool sweater over his broad shoulders and slipping on some destroyed skinny jeans. He grabs some gel and quickly styles his dark brown hair into his signature messy-casual look. If nobody knew any better, he could totally pass for an _Abercrombie & Fitch _ model, he thinks. Or better. 

He gives himself a good spritz of his favourite cologne and checks his watch. _11:29pm._

Jaehyun’s probably waiting for him on his front lawn already.

He throws on an old pair of Converse sneakers and a scarf, and takes a deep breath before opening the door.

~

“So how was work tonight?”

Jaehyun tries to keep his composure as they take a brisk walk around the neighborhood. Although it was nighttime, the sky was clear, and the stars shined brightly in the sky. Fortunately, the cool winter air served as a great cover up for how red his cheeks probably were at the moment.

“It was alright. You know, same old,” Jaehyun replies. “Except that…you know, you weren’t there this time.” That was probably a little too forward.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I should’ve told you sooner. I didn’t want to break our little tradition on Fridays,” Lucas says ever so casually. 

_Our little tradition._ Jaehyun’s heart does a backflip. “Don’t worry about it. I mean, you had a football game to win.”

“You’re damn right,” Lucas smiles. “Crushed ‘em.”

“You’re heartless,” Jaehyun laughs. “Knocking over those kids like that.”

“Hey, they’re around my age! They knew what they were signing up for.”

“You also have an unfair genetic advantage,” he looks at the quarterback up and down. 

Lucas laughs. His deep voice reverberates through the quiet night air. “Still not my fault,” he shrugs. 

They walk on in silence, but it doesn’t feel awkward. They’d spent enough time together by now that it was easy to simply enjoy each other’s company without feeling the need to force an unnecessary conversation. Before long, they’d circled their block and were approaching the point where they’d left off on Jaehyun’s driveway.

“So… I wanted to say something,” Lucas says suddenly. He has his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his feet. “I’m actually going somewhere with my friends for winter break, and I’m leaving tomorrow, so… I’m probably not going to be able to hang out for a bit.”

“Yeah, Wendy told me earlier, I think. I mean,” Jaehyun says, smiling, “I have your number.”

“Yeah, you do, huh?” Lucas breaks into a toothy grin. 

“So is that why you wanted to take a walk with me? Just to tell me that?”

Lucas takes a deep breath and turns around, his gaze fixing at Jaehyun. “I don’t know, I… I guess I just wanted to see you.”

They stare at each other for a moment. It’s probably cold enough to be snowing, but Jaehyun can feel his entire body burning from the inside out. He looks into Lucas’s eyes and he can see his expression start to change, from ambivalent to something mischievous and almost sentimental, but flirtatious.

Lucas walks up a little closer, until they’re almost chest to chest, barely an inch apart. Jaehyun can smell his musky scent and earthy cologne, and can feel the heat radiating from his towering body. 

The corners of Lucas’s full flips rise into a sly smirk, and Jaehyun’s eyes widen as the quarterback leans in to plant a small kiss on his cheek. 

“I’ll see you in the new year.” Lucas flashes him a charming smile before walking nonchalantly back to his porch, closing the door behind him without another word.

Jaehyun thinks his heart is going to run out of his chest.

~

The next few weeks feel like they pass by both quickly and slowly at the same time. Jaehyun wasn’t really big on Christmas, but he takes the opportunity to spend some quality time with his mom. They bake _a lot_ of cookies, watch cheesy Christmas movies, and throw a small party with Sicheng and his family, and the staff from the diner. Over the years, Jaehyun’s mom has gotten to know Sicheng’s parents quite well, and they feel like family.

Jaehyun games with Sicheng almost every night, and they binge the most random shows on _Netflix_ (including _Itaewon Class,_ Sicheng’s latest drama obsession) while eating an unhealthy amount of kettle corn. He can finally openly rave about hot actors to Sicheng, and it feels liberating. He still kept it from his mom - he just wasn’t ready to tell her yet - but having even one person know, and support him for it, was a huge improvement to his happiness.

Lucas wasn’t much of a texter, so they didn’t speak much over the break other than some fleeting texts and small talk here and there. Of course, Jaehyun shows Sicheng all the texts, who demands daily updates and has become more invested in Jaehyun’s relationship with Lucas than Jaehyun himself. When he found out about the peck Lucas had given him, Sicheng quite literally screamed and ran around like a headless chicken for ten minutes (they were in the middle of a busy food court in a shopping mall _during holiday season_ , mind you) until Jaehyun had to physically hold him down and give him a brown paper bag from KFC to breathe in and out of. 

Lucas hasn’t brought it up, and Jaehyun’s not sure where any of this is going - but the fact that Lucas _kissed him on the cheek_ meant that he _must_ feel something for him that extends beyond simply being friends. Right? How could it not? Straight dudes don’t just _kiss_ other dudes, right? _He wants to ‘touchdown’ in your hole,_ Sicheng had said, before Jaehyun threw a piece of fried chicken at him. 

Whatever the case was, Jaehyun couldn’t wait to see him again.

Jaehyun rolls over on his bed and picks Jeffrey up from off the floor. He lies flat on his back and holds the teddy bear over him with his arms outstretched, its limbs falling limply toward his face from gravity. “I just might be able to fulfill my promise to you, buddy,” Jaehyun whispers. Jeffrey only stares back at him with black, beady eyes. “I might actually be able to go out with Lucas Wong before the year ends. Who fucking knew.”

He puts Jeffrey down and suddenly feels an urge to pick up his guitar next. He lets his baritone voice flow out of him naturally along with the strumming of the chords,

_She wears high heels, I wear sneakers_

_She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers_

_Dreamin' 'bout the day when you wake up and find_

_That what you're looking for has been here the whole time_

_If you could see that I'm the one who understands you_

_Been here all along, so why can't you see_

_You belong with me_

_Standin' by and waitin' at your back door_

_All this time, how could you not know, baby_

_You belong with me_

_You belong with me_

Jaehyun puts his guitar down as a tear rolls down his cheek. 

~

“Yo, it’s not fair. You’re good at every fucking sport,” Johnny teases, pointing a finger to Lucas’s chest with one hand, a red cup filled to the brim with jungle juice in the other.

They’re at their lodge at the ski resort they’d gone to in Montréal, and everyone’s pretty much high, drunk, or both. They’d been skiing and snowboarding all day today (well, most of them - some of the girls, including Jennie, had opted for a spa day instead) and Lucas, despite being relatively new at it, was able to hold his own even with Mark, who was pretty much a pro-snowboarder. _I’m Canadian,_ Mark would say with a stupid grin every time somebody had asked him. 

“Or maybe you just suck at every sport,” Lucas retorted in response, raising his eyebrows humorously. 

Johnny laughs and sticks a middle finger up at him before drunkenly walking over to harass Yuqi with his dad jokes. Lucas is about to follow him to try and save her when he feels a hand on his shoulder. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” 

Lucas turns around to come face to face with Jennie and her usual wry smile. Although it was freezing cold outside, she was wearing an oversized tee dress that barely covered the red panties she was wearing underneath them. 

“I don’t know. Around,” Lucas says flatly. Jennie was starting to become unbearable - even before, she’d already been pretty much all up in his business, but she’d been constantly policing him and his interactions with their other friends on the trip, particularly with the girls. Yuqi was one of the few girls that had gone skiing with the boys, and Lucas had some time to bond with her after they’d both fallen over while making their way down a particularly rough hill. Yuqi’s skis had completely flown off in different directions after catching a hard edge, and Lucas quite literally face planted after trying to stop to help her. They’d laughed for about 5 minutes straight before crawling precariously across the slope to retrieve her skis. If he had to guess, Yuqi probably innocently shared the story with Jennie at some point during dinner and now she was coming to try and assert her dominance over him, once again. She was so transparent. 

“I was upset you didn’t join me at the spa today,” she says predictably, changing the subject.

Lucas sighs. “I wanted to ski some more. You can come with us tomorrow, if you want.”

“And get all sweaty and have to wear some ugly snow pants? No thanks.”

“Suit yourself,” Lucas shrugs. He looks away, but he can already envision the grimace forming on her face as he walks off. 

He decides to make his way over to the couch where Yuta and Jungwoo were both piss ass drunk and basically all over each other. 

Lucas takes a seat by himself on the couch a little further down from them and has a drink of the soju-beer that Johnny mixed for him. He closes his eyes for a moment as his head spins, a little tipsy from all the shots he’d taken earlier (at this point, he lost count of exactly how many). He’s glad that the lodges at the resort were spaced out from each other - Johnny had EDM music blasting from speakers around the house, Mark and Taeyong were having way too much fun with their game of beer pong, and the constant chorus of laughter and shouting from everyone was probably enough to warrant a neighbouring call to the police had they been back home. Mark’s voice was somehow able to pierce through every layer of noise in the room and enter straight into his ears. _I’M IN CANADA, YO!_

Lucas should be having fun. And well, he is, for the most part. 

What’s gotten into him? He’d normally be right there along with Johnny, dancing like a crazy person to the blaring music, waiting for the bass drop to act like a fool. Getting unnecessarily competitive over beer pong with Taeyong and Mark, and laughing like mad between bouts of screaming at each other over cheating accusations. At the same time last year, he’d had his eyes on Jennie, and he would probably have been all over her this year, but something was stopping him. Something in him had changed, and his feelings for her had dissipated like Johnny’s last sober thoughts after his tenth shot of tequila.

He should be yelling and laughing and dancing along with everyone else, but there’s just something missing. 

Or _someone_ , rather. 

Why is he being so evasive when it comes to… _him_ ? Was it because he was scared of how he felt about him? He stops himself. _He has a name._ It’s okay to say his name. 

_Jaehyun. Jaehyun. Jaehyun._

_Jaehyun Jeong._

Lucas honestly was having a fun time here with his friends, but it would have been so much better with Jaehyun here. Now that they were apart, the void that he’d filled in his life was becoming painfully apparent. The regularity of having seen him at least once a week on Fridays was broken and was paying its price. 

He thinks back to that starry night he had shared with Jaehyun before he left for Montréal. The kiss he’d given him on the cheek. How he wishes he would have gone for the lips instead.

He chugs his drink and lets himself get drunk. 

~

It’s a few days into the new year and their last semester of high school (“the beginning of the end”, as Sicheng would say), and Jaehyun already has a literal mountain of homework and assignments to work on. However, he succumbs to procrastination and decides to watch _Netflix_ in his bed instead, ignoring the pile of textbooks stacked on his work desk.

Jaehyun hasn’t run into Lucas at school yet, probably because they had completely different timetables that didn’t intersect at any point (they’d sent each other screenshots of their class schedules as soon as they came out) and they also took classes in completely different subjects, so it kind of made sense that they were sequestered in different areas of the school. Hell, it was hard for him to even run into Sicheng most of the time. 

They were still texting back and forth here and there, but he’s been _dying_ to see Lucas in the flesh again after spending several weeks apart from each other - especially after the last encounter they’d had. But he’s also been trying to resist the urge to spam him over text because he doesn’t want to come off as desperate or obviously crushing on him. He had to keep it cool. This wasn’t just anybody he was dealing with, this was fucking _Lucas Wong._

That being said, he literally lived right next door. He could technically just get up and knock on his door if he wanted to, but he probably didn’t have the courage to do that. Was Lucas going to visit him at _Jeong’s Diner_ on Friday like before? Would they go back to that? Or was that just a phase? _Maybe… maybe he could just casually ask him to see if he was planning to drop by on Friday…? Would that be weird to ask…?_

He’s lost in thought when his phone vibrates, breaking him out of the voices swirling around in his head. He pauses _Itaewon Class_ on his laptop and fumbles around his sheets for his phone, expecting a text from Sicheng. 

**Lucas Wong. 12.01am.**

_Hey_

_You up?_

Jaehyun’s heart jumps when he sees Lucas’s name instead. He can’t help the smile that tugs at the corners of his lips. It was a little scary how he got a text from Lucas just as he was thinking about him. But then again, he’s always thinking about him, so it wasn’t exactly a coincidence at this point.

**Jaehyun. 12.01am.**

_Heyy_

_Yeah, just watching Netflix_

_What’s up?_

**Lucas Wong. 12.02am.**

_I can’t sleep_

_Can u come over for a bit to talk?_

Jaehyun rereads the text about five or six times before stifling a muffled scream into his pillow. It takes all of his willpower to not type gibberish in response.

**Jaehyun. 12.03am.**

_Yeah sure_

**Lucas Wong. 12.03am.**

_K_

_Text me when ur outside_

Jaehyun takes a moment to register. His mind is flying in a thousand different directions, but there isn’t a point of dwelling on this. He takes a quick look in the mirror, fluffing his hair a bit and adjusting the glasses on his face. After a minute or two of staring at his closet, he decides to go over in his pajamas, since it’s late and he doesn’t really feel like changing. He looked like a total dork right now, but what did it matter? Lucas knew that about him, probably liked him for him because of it.

He tiptoes out of his room. He can faintly hear his mom’s deep breathing from her bedroom and walks cautiously down the stairs to avoid waking her from her sleep. He contemplates throwing on a wool cardigan or something, but Lucas is literally a few steps away, so he decides to just tough it out for a few seconds. 

It’s January in Connecticut, so it’s pretty damn cold outside. Maybe he should have brought a cardigan after all. But the heat rising in his chest and in his cheeks might be enough to hold him over. 

The night air is cool and crisp, and there are stars in the sky, but Jaehyun doesn’t look up to look at them. 

~

Lucas has done a lot of stupid shit in his life, but this might take the cake.

_So._ He texted Jaehyun to come over to his house at 12am on a school night to “talk”. Cool. Totally doesn’t sound like a booty call at all.

_Great job Lucas._ _Not subtle at all._

But then again, weren’t they past the time for subtleties? It’s been months of this tension between them, always on the cusp of something more but always just on the fence, neither of them with enough courage to jump over it. 

He knew Jaehyun had a crush on him. It wasn’t rocket science – Lucas might not have the greatest of book smarts (he can almost envision Doyoung nodding in agreement at that), but he’s a people person, and he’s had plenty of dating experience. With girls, of course. But it was experience nonetheless. Jaehyun might have thought that he was being subtle, but he was innocently, naively, and adorably transparent, almost humorously so. The way that he’d light up whenever they’d meet, the smile that grew on his face. His wandering eyes, that lingered a little too long at his lips, at his arms, his chest (and other places). How Jaehyun would always reply to his texts right away, or a few minutes after to avoid coming off as too eager.

It was painfully clear, and yet, Lucas had left him high and dry for months because of his own insecurities. 

He takes a deep breath and rolls out of bed, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He flexes his muscles almost instinctively at the sight of his own reflection like the vain fuckboy that he was. He’s wearing a tank top, with his arms on full display. _Nice._ His eyes drift down at his boxer briefs and he sighs before rummaging around in his closet for a pair of gym shorts to pull over his legs. _Tonight wasn’t that kind of night._ Or at least he wasn’t intending it to be. _Did he want it to be?_

He doesn’t exactly know himself what prompted him to ask Jaehyun to come over in the middle of the night. Or maybe he does. 

The fight he’d had with Yuta earlier in the year. The dinners that he’d had with Jaehyun _every fucking week_ since then at his mom’s diner. The hole he’d punched in his own wall after his basketball game with Johnny, how his best friend’s questions had slammed into him harder than any football players had. The drunken nights, the aching feelings he’d had in his chest. The uneasiness he felt whenever Jennie tried flirting with him and the expectation from everyone that he’d ask her to prom when he had absolutely no interest in her – not necessarily because he didn’t like her enough (okay, well, maybe a little bit of that), but because she wasn’t who had his heart. The void that had been there when he’d gone away for Christmas break, and the fucking _kiss_ he’d planted on Jaehyun’s cheek.

No. Lucas knew exactly what this was. There was no point in denying it anymore.

He was never one to hide his feelings, but these past few months have driven him crazy into denial and confusion like he’d never experienced before. 

There was no more running from it.

His phone vibrates.

**Jaehyun. 12.15am.**

_I’m outside!_

Lucas takes a deep breath and steals another quick look in the mirror to check his appearance. He quickly sprays a few spritzes of his favourite cologne over himself and runs a hand through his hair. He was doing this. He needed to say what was on his mind now or he’d go insane.

He doesn’t reply to Jaehyun’s text, instead breaking into a light jog to meet him at the door instead.

When he unlocks the door to open it, he feels his heart unlock with it.

Jaehyun looks up from his phone to meet his gaze. His neighbour was wearing an old t-shirt that was a little too big for him, allowing his perfectly defined collarbones to peek out from underneath. He wore obnoxiously coloured fruit-patterned socks underneath his slippers and shorts that were a little too short, exposing almost all of his thighs. He had his signature glasses over his face, and was rocking one of the worst bedheads Lucas has ever seen. 

And he looked fucking perfect.

“Hey,” Lucas says, in a voice a little deeper than usual. “Sorry to text you so late. Thanks for coming over.”

“No problem,” Jaehyun replies a little sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. “I think this is actually the first time we’ve seen each other since before Christmas break.”

“I think you’re right,” Lucas smiles. Actually, he doesn’t _think_ he’s right. He knows he is. He’d been waiting to see Jaehyun again, had been counting down the days. “Happy new year.”

“Happy new year,” Jaehyun says back, flashing a light smile in return. There’s a pregnant pause between them, and for a moment, Lucas can hear the hum of the night, the rustling bare branches in the cool night breeze, the distant sound of car engines from deeper in the city. The beating of his own heart.

“Is your mom up?” Lucas asks randomly. 

“No, she’s asleep.”

“Figures.” They stand there a little awkwardly for a few seconds before Lucas gets himself together. “Come in, it’s cold.” He gestures Jaehyun to step in and closes the door behind him. 

“Wow, you… you have so many pairs of shoes.” Jaehyun’s staring at his shoe rack, transfixed. “Do you really wear all of these?”

“Well, yeah, it depends on the occasion,” Lucas says nonchalantly. “Here, you can wear these slippers if you want.”

“Thanks,” Jaehyun responds, eyes not leaving his wall of shoes. He exchanges his slippers for the ones Lucas places in front of him. “God, your house is so nice. I wouldn’t think that you’d decorate your place like this.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Lucas laughs. “Mom decorated the place before she left. Left it the way it was, for the most part. Tea?” Lucas asks casually, walking deeper into the house, switching on the lights as he went. He considers lighting a candle or something, but that might be a little too sexy.

“No, I’m okay, thanks. Was this hole in your wall always here?” Jaehyun asks, inspecting the wall that Lucas had punched in frustration, which ironically, was because of him. 

“Uh,” he stutters a little, “I uh, was moving furniture and bumped into it with something.” He’s obviously bullshitting, and makes a mental note to get it fixed. “You sure like asking questions about people’s houses, don’t you.” 

“It looks like it’s in the shape of a fist, though. Are you sure you-”

“Water?” Lucas interrupts, clearing his throat. 

Jaehyun shakes his head, giggling, not pursuing it further. He follows him into the living room, and plops down on the couch. “So you wanted to talk about something?”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind.” Lucas takes a seat next to him, making a point to sit closeby. The question forces him to take a moment to recalibrate and remember the reason why he’d asked Jaehyun to come over in the first place. Up close like this, Jaehyun smells like sweet shampoo and bodywash, and his skin is flawless, freshly moisturized and dewy. It’s just a little distracting. Just a little. 

“I mean, I stopped _Itaewon Class_ for this, so I’m all ears.”

“Okay, well, I really don’t know how to say this, and you know I’m not good with words,” Lucas says in a low voice, running a hand over his face. “So I’m just going to go for it.” 

“Yeah, shoot.”

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Jaehyun’s mouth drops open. He backs away from him and almost topples off of the couch in shock. “You… what did you just say?” He says, barely able to keep himself from falling over.

“I think I’m in love with you,” Lucas repeats. “Need me to say it again?” He breaks into a toothy grin.

“I’m dreaming, right?” Jaehyun takes his glasses off and rubs his eyes. “You must be some figment of my imagination. I must be going crazy.” He gets up from his seat on the couch and starts pacing back and forth. “I’m going clinically insane.” He walks up to him, hands on his hips. “Okay, hold on. I’m going to need you to prove to me that you’re real.”

Lucas gives him a confused look, but after a few seconds of staring, he realizes Jaehyun’s serious. Dead serious. He stands up from his seat, grabs the sides of Jaehyun’s face with his huge hands, and kisses him square on the lips, probably a little harder than he was intending to.

Their lips make a little smacking sound when he pulls away a few seconds after.

“Real enough for you?” He smiles, still holding Jaehyun’s face in his hands. 

“Okay. I’m fucking over the moon right now, but you have a lot of explaining to do,” Jaehyun says incredulously, a little muffled from his cheeks being squished together. “Okay, okay. Let’s go back to basics here. _Please_ start from the beginning. Like, from the top.”

Lucas laughs, and they sit back down on the couch. “I mean,” he leans over and rests his elbows on his knees, hands loosely clasped together. “Ever since we started talking back in September, I feel like something in me changed. Or like, shifted into place. Unlocked. It took me a long fucking time to figure out what it was, and once I did, it was really hard for me to come to terms with it.” He sighs. “And like…I’ve always considered myself to be someone that had strong opinions. I was never someone that tried to hide my feelings from other people. I’ve always been straightforward and real with everyone – my friends, my parents. Myself. This was the first time that I felt so damn confused.” He turns his head so he could meet Jaehyun’s eyes. “I felt like you made me realize a part of me that I didn’t know was there. 

“And I was fucking scared at first. I’ve only ever been with girls. Dated girls. Had girlfriends. The way you made me feel scared me. I didn’t want to acknowledge it in the beginning, but after a while, it just became impossible to ignore. And like, I just got sick of suppressing it. I think… I think I like girls and boys,” he says a little too quietly, almost a whisper. “Man, I think this is the first time that I’ve said that out loud. I haven’t told anyone about it yet, but I don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks about it. All I care about is…is what _you_ think about me.” He sits up straight and takes Jaehyun’s hands in his. Jaehyun’s hands are smaller than his, more slender, smoother. Looking at their hands together like this, their difference in skin tone becomes more apparent, Jaehyun’s being pale and milky, melting into Lucas’s tan bronze. “Look at me,” Lucas says, prompting Jaehyun to look up at him from his lap, into his eyes. “I like you,” he whispers. “I really, _really,_ fucking like you, Jeong Jaehyun. Will you go out with me?”

Jaehyun stares back at him with wide eyes, his pupils wandering and scanning his face for honesty. His lips are slightly parted, his brow a little furrowed. “Yes,” he says resolutely. The word crashes into Lucas like a wave of relief, like the huge weight that had been weighing him down for months has been lifted off his shoulders. For the first time in a long time, he feels like his heart is relaxed and everything is as it should be. It felt right. “But wait,” Jaehyun purses his lips, “I promised Jeffrey that I would be the one to ask you out, so take that back and let me ask you instead.”

“Uh… okay, wait. Who’s Jeffrey?” 

“My teddy bear.”

“Your teddy-”

“Okay so,” Jaehyun squares his shoulders and clears his throat. “ _Lucas Wong_ ,” he says with a serious expression, locking eyes with him, as if he’d been practicing this for a while now. It was kind of adorable. “Will you go out with me?”

“Hm. I’ll have to think about it,” he teases. 

Jaehyun crosses his arms. “I hate you.”

Lucas tries to keep a straight face but breaks out into laughter when he sees that Jaehyun’s pouting. “Of course I fucking will,” he finally says. “Need me to prove it again?” He asks, raising an eyebrow.

Jaehyun smiles. “Maybe.”

Lucas carefully takes Jaehyun’s glasses off of his face and sets them on the coffee table. He grabs his cheeks and plants another kiss on Jaehyun’s soft lips, soft and tender this time. Jaehyun was wearing lip balm and tasted a bit like vanilla bean. It was intoxicating. “Is that proof enough?”

“I think we need to gather more evidence.”

“Yeah, I think so too,” Lucas smiles. He puts his hands on Jaehyun’s shoulders and gently pushes him onto his back until Lucas is lying flat on top of him. Jaehyun lets himself be pushed over, his breathing starting to get a little uneven. Lucas could feel Jaehyun’s heart beating faster and faster beneath his own, and was painfully aware of his smooth, lithe body under his hard and muscular form. It was insane how attractive Jaehyun was. He kisses Jaehyun again, first with a series of fleeting pecks and then goes in for the kill, taking Jaehyun’s thin lips between his own full lips in a way that was both tender and aggressive, like he’s waited an eternity for this moment, because he has. Jaehyun lets his mouth open a little, inviting him to deepen the kiss even more. Jaehyun’s arms wrap around Lucas’s thick waist, and Lucas runs his hands through Jaehyun’s messy hair, their limbs intertwining, their bodies entangled. Lucas pulls Jaehyun’s shirt off of him, and lets himself get lost in Jaehyun’s slim and smooth torso. 

“So do I have Jeffrey to thank for this?” He whispers in Jaehyun’s ear, breathing ragged.

“Yep,” Jaehyun says matter-of-factly, smiling. “But for now, just shut up and kiss me.”

And Lucas can’t argue with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way - the fic isn't over yet! After the LFF reveals, I'll be posting the Epilogue chapter with some of their first few dates as a couple, how they reveal their relationship to Lucas's friends and Jaehyun's mom, and how our lovely couple takes on the oh-so important prom! 
> 
> Thanks again to the lovely prompter behind prompt #44 and to LFF for hosting! 
> 
> And thank YOU, lovely reader, so, SO much for reading all the way through. Please let me know if you liked it by leaving a kudos or comment below (and if you hated it, that's fine too)!
> 
> p.s. you can find me on Twitter @milksichengtea :)


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